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Football picks! Mailbag queries! Eyebrow references!


 

Week 15 NFL football picks by Scott Reid and yours truly can be found here. Warning: May contribute to graphic mental images of me naked save for an empty, strategically placed Cheetos bag.

Questions for next week’s Monday Mailbag can be left below in the Comments. Ask and your question shall be answered (approximately 16-25% of the time based on historical averages).

Please note: I have received via email three separate questions about Michael Ignatieff’s eyebrows, including one that posits they’ve already “gone rogue.” Do not submit any more queries related to Michael Ignatieff’s eyebrows!


 
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Football picks! Mailbag queries! Eyebrow references!

  1. LIBERAL MEDIA BIAS!!!

    Feschuk…this is a BLATANT attempt to shield Iggy from all the “tough” questions about his eyebrows.

  2. Mentioning rogue eyebrows without a reference to Andy Rooney leads me to believe you continue to secretly covet his 60 Minutes bellyache pulpit.

    (btw he asks me to tell you to quit sending him free airline tickets and an invite to your distant relative’s remote northern Canadian cottage. He’s seen The Edge and he doesn’t want to be Anthony Hopkins to your Alec Baldwin.)

  3. The eyebrows are seriously disturbing. Andy Rooney doesn’t hold a candle to the Count.

  4. Dear Mr. Feschuk:

    Whither Canada?

    — Jack Mitchell, Toronto

  5. Ah he’s referring to the NFL? That’s even more boring and corporate than FIFA. And the CFL? Gah.

    Fortunately Count Ignatieff’s eyebrows rate 4x as many comments as American football. There is still hope for Canadian sport.

    The eyebrow-controlled accelerometer gives me an excellent idea for a new iPhone game.

  6. Even my six year old son laughs about the brows…and the dark lord references…I keep thinking hail Caesar…but only in the most respectful way…

  7. Dear Mr. Feschuk:

    What “Lord of the RIngs” character is Iggy most like? Gandalf — with the you-know-what’s? Aragorn — steely gaze, noble background, arrives from abroad, destiny, etc.? Boromir — tempted by the Ring?

    — Jack Mitchell, Toronto

  8. Mr. Feschuk,

    Apparently there is a large acorn shortage this year in North America, which at first I didn’t find troubling at all. Then I thought about the poor squirrels, and still, not terribly concerned. However, then I read the last line of the article above, a quote from a wildlife biologist in Northern Virginia regarding what the squirrels will do given the lack of acorns: “Animals are resourceful,” he said. “If they’re hungry, they’re gonna find something to eat.”

    “If they’re hungry, they’re gonna find something to eat.”

    I spend so much time worrying about killer robots that I’ve never given a moment’s thought to squirrels. Should we begin preparations for the inevitable? Can we survive the squirrels turning on us, and what should we do to prepare?

    I fear that once the squirrels develop a taste for human flesh, no amount of acorns will be able to satisfy their hunger.

  9. Mr. Feschuck,

    I’ve heard a lot of back and forth on this bail out situation. What is your opinion of bailouts … banks, auto, forestry, newspapers, liberals… etc?

    Ottawa, ON

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