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Generation XXX


 

For those raised in the 1960s, the question was, “Where were you when JFK was shot?” For children of the 1980s: “Where were you when the Berlin Wall came down?” For kids today, the question they’ll be asking of their contemporaries decades from now: “Where were you when Miley totally flashed, like, five-eighths of her back?”

I love this story. I love the incredibly huge play it is getting. I love that the photos are being described as “semi-topless” (uhh, the last time I checked, the upper portion of a woman’s back was neither factored into one’s application for employment at Hooters nor used to sell beer). I love that some publications describe her as “half-naked.” (Fail math much?) I love that no one had any problem with the low-cut tops or incredibly short skirts but… this! This is an outrage!! I love that Disney is involved – because you just know that Disney is motivated wholly and entirely by Miley’s best interests (welcome to Sarcasmville – population: that last sentence!) I love the fact that, within hours of the photos being released, everyone from representatives of the Christian right to Jamie Lee Curtis had already been interviewed for their “insight” into this breaking news. I love that we’re 12 to 24 hours away from Britney or Paris or Lindsay offering to intervene and mentor Miley Cyrus during her transition to adulthood. I love that even as I type these words, Billy Ray Cyrus is already thinking up rhymes for a provocative yet tender ode to his daughter’s innocence.

Frankly, I don’t see how Obama can continue to resist Clinton’s demands for another debate now that Hanna Montana has plunged the nation into moral crisis. She’s 15 and we’ve seen part of her back! Granted, not as much as if we’d seen her at a swimming pool, but still… whore!!!


 

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