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Harper now less partisan. Also: pigs now more airborne.


 

Another edition of The Globe and Mail, another anonymous-for-some-reason source shaping the news agenda. This one is identified not merely as a “long-time” Tory or as a “senior” Tory but as a “long-time senior Tory” – though I’m not sure if that means this person is a) someone who’s been a senior Tory for a long time, b) a long-time Tory who’s now senior, or c) a person who’s been very old for a very long time and also a Tory. Come on, Globe and Mail – the least you can do is be more specific about the people you’re being completely vague about.

Anyhoo, the gist of the story is that Stephen Harper has appointed a new director of policy who “represents a less-partisan attitude” – though in the context of Stephen Harper’s government, this could just mean that he gleefully refers to opposition members as Taliban-loving, God-hating cannibals but – and here’s the “less-partisan” part – refrains from kneeing them in the nuts.

But no. Apparently, the appointment of Paul Wilson as policy chief is being seen by “party members and political experts” as a sign that Harper and company truly and totally recognize, and this time they really and honestly mean it, that their “hard line partisanship tactics have rebounded.”

Which raises a question: how do you get certified as a political expert? Is there a quiz? Like an airline pilot, do you have to go into a political simulator and verbally emasculate Jack Layton or keep the gays down? Or do you merely have to pick up the phone and have 10 minutes to spare when the guy from the newspaper calls?

But back to the story. So the Conservatives are less partisan now? Really? I must have missed the news that Stephen Harper underwent a transplant to replace every fibre of his being.

Still, I look forward to the bold new post-partisan dawn in which the Prime Minister purposely tanks the Parliamentary bake-off to cede the spotlight to Bob Rae’s lemon squares. Harper’s not playing chess anymore, Canada. He’s playing house. And he wants Michael Ignatieff to be the mommy.

(And yes, Gilles Duceppe, that candy heart on your Commons desk does indeed say, “I Wuv U.”)


 
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Harper now less partisan. Also: pigs now more airborne.

  1. Meanwhile some are reporting they have received the ultra-stupid Conservative ten percenters in the mail this week. Harper and the CPC are operating as usual and one can view this “less-partisan” facade as just another sweater ad.

  2. It’s mild today, but just you wait… it will be a frosty Friday.

  3. “I must have missed the news that Stephen Harper underwent a transplant to replace every fibre of his being”

    THAT is pointed! Try not to let this go to your head, Feschuk… but… you’re f**king brilliant.

  4. It is hard to imagine Harper being less partisan than he already is, unless he plans to join the Lib party soon. I read the Globe article and all I thought was that Harper/Cons plan to become even more lib than they already are.

    • It is amazing, isn’t it? The policies shift left, right, centre but the rhetoric is still hyper-partisan.

  5. Maybe it’s in fact Harper who is the “long-time senior Tory” who is wearing the adult Depends:

    “I think the important thing is not to assume is that Stephen Harper has not changed,” he said. “He shifts every once in a while for usually strategic purposes.”

    • If you got rid of the “f”, then it would make perfect sense…

  6. Meanwhile some are reporting they have received the ultra-stupid Conservative ten percenters in the mail this week.

    Ayup. Here in my Liberal bastion, they’re still wasting resources with their brainless propaganda.

    Sent if back with a big “FU” scrawled on it.

    Mr Harper: Stop sending me those stupid pieces of paper!

    • … and charging me for it!

      No, wait – would I rather have some vague idea about Con policies/talking points, or press a frivolous lawsuit until it was politically expedient to drop it? Where shall I invest my tax dollars?

      • I’d be less upset if they just took the money they’re wasting on this stupid propaganda and blew it on better catering for committee meetings or something.

        • I knew it! Ti-Guy = Kady!

    • Okey-dokey!

  7. I’m collecting them. I think when Harper falls (has to happen e v e n t u a l y, right?) I’m going to take them outside and burn them. Then post the video on Youtube.

    • That would be a cool video. Post the link when the time comes.

      What are these 10-centers people are talking about? I don’t get any, except every now and then from Olivia Chow. Inundate me, dammit!

    • I collected them last year and intended to hand them personally to the Conservative Party canvassers when they showed up at my door during the election campaign. They never did.

    • Perhaps if we got together all the people who saved them, and encouraged people to save them as they come in now, we could build a few hundred homes for the homeless out of them, by mixing them with mud. Kind of like a lasting shrine to Harper’s time in office.

      • Rather see a 10 storey tall papier mache effigy of His Perfectness, made entirely of 10-percenters and erected just outside of Calgary’s sewage treatment facility.

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