The best part of Super Bowl Sunday has been ruined.
The best part of Super Bowl Sunday – not counting the part where John Madden eats the losing team – has been ruined. By nudists.
You heard me. The Lingerie Bowl, the most thong-based day on the sporting calendar, the championship of the 10-team Lingerie Football League (Go San Diego Seduction!), the game that was to air on pay-per-view during Super Bowl halftime (which typically lasts somewhere between an eternity and an eon), the gridiron flesh dance that… wait – that’s probably not a decent enough description, you probably need a photo to get a true mental picture of what I’m talking about…
… has been cancelled.
Read, weep and prepare yourself to sign my petition of outrage:
Citing conflicts with the hosting Caliente nudist resort over a “clothing mandate” that organizers say was agreed upon, the Lingerie Football League is throwing in the towel. A league spokesman said holding and broadcasting the [Lingerie Bowl] in the nude or around nude people was not what the players or league had in mind.
“The league will not place our fans, players, staff nor partners in a less-than-comfortable environment that would ultimately jeopardize the mainstream perception and reputation of the brand that so many have worked diligently over these past five years to build,” the league’s Stephon McMillen said.
It’s difficult to put a finger on the most enjoyable part of the preceding two paragraphs, but in the name of science let’s give it a try.
Is it the fact that: