Monday Caption Challenge No. 2 - Macleans.ca
 

Monday Caption Challenge No. 2

UPDATED: and the winner is…


 

UPDATE: In future, I plan to again – and perhaps permanently – resort to democracy to resolve the caption challenge, but this week I am happily siding with the mob and conferring victory upon DanielBlouin. If ever there were an entry that fit the criterion of “funny cuz it’s true,” this is it. Well played, sir. Please flip me an email at scott.feschuk@macleans.rogers.com and I’ll dispatch your prize via the infotainment highway.

And a REMINDER: Queries for the Tuesday Mailbag on Wednesday can be sent to that same email address or placed in the comments below this post. Several questions already this week about relationships and personal matters. I’m like Ann Landers without the moustache.

Hey, look – it’s world-famous Liberal MP, and former hockey player of some kind, Ken Dryden. He’s on the ice as part of the Montreal Canadiens’ 100th anniversary celebrations, which – by my rough estimate – have been going on for the past 40 years (or does it just feel that way?)

Your mission: make with the funny.

* The winner of each week’s caption challenge, as declared by a jury of me (or, on occasion, a guest juror of considerable wit and Internet access), shall receive a prize valued in the tens of dollars. And not just dollars but Canadian dollars (aka the good kind of dollars). You’re welcome.


 

Monday Caption Challenge No. 2

  1. "Exclusive Angelo Persichilli photo of the plot against Michael Ignatieff."

  2. We're now about a third of the way through this scrimmage. What's been happening up until now? Where does it all seem to be going? Stéphane Richer has been talking about figure skating – figure skating now and in a very changing world; about the toe picks; about seeing Ken Daneyko in skin-tight pants, what it does to people, to kids, and the need to engage that fight now.

    But really, up to this point, Mr. Roy has controlled the net in this scrimmage. Yet, this scrimmage has often been odd and surprising. Like the fans chanting: “Olé, olé, olé, olé.” This is their slogan; their ad – “Olé, olé, olé, olé" – like saying “Oh, taking everything into consideration, despite all this or that, on the whole, really, probably we'd have to say, lé." Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Nothing energizing about it, nothing exciting. Nothing that makes you want to wake up in the morning and race into the possibilities of your day.

    Yet this is their chant. Even in their dreams they can't quite express anything stirring, anything big. Is this what being a hockey player is about? What Canada is about?

    Then there's the white sweater, the “Mr. Nice Guy” ads. Ad firms are paid millions to tell the story their client wants told. It's much easier for them when it's a new “product” or a new “person” launch. When the information they provide is the only information – when the public knows nothing else. The problem for Mr. Roy is that the public does know something else. They watched him in Colorado for 7½ years and Patrick Roy, they know, may be lots of things, but he's not a–

    *SIREN*

    God damn it.

    • END. CONTEST. NOW.

      WIN.

      • I'm gratified by the positive response, but most of the credit belongs to Mr. Dryden himself. (I can't load the speech I cribbed from now form some reason, but an astute Google search should take care of that)

    • Absolutely classic! I'm with WDM, that's absolutely friggin' unbeatable.

    • Stick a fork in it, the contest is over.

    • Oh, I agree. He scores with this one.

    • Yeah, this takes it. As Soon as I saw the picture, I knew the winning caption would have to be long winded and boring. Just fantastic.

    • I'd like to vote for this one this time, and next time too, please.

    • This has my vote too. Classic.

    • Absolutely has my vote.

    • I don't want to read any more, and I do not want to enter a caption myself. This is beautiful.

  3. "I, Ken Dryden, will never accept another free pre-game back adjustment from 'Dr.' Ruby."

  4. "Clearly I won't be in Cabinet anytime soon, but hopefully this will get me on the cover of the PM's book about hockey"

  5. Harper scores. Oh dolly…Dryden must be wishing he was not on the left … of the goal

  6. "I lost my retainer… Anybody see my retainer?"

  7. Canadiens turn to their backup goalie the Hunchback of North York.

  8. And so the crowd was witness to the unravelling of Mr. Dryden. Puck after puck sllid by him as he pondered the "C" on his chest. It was red, but unmistakably a "C". Time machine? The century-old beginning of a Conservative plot? Coincidence? But then "coincidence" started with a "c" too, The descent into madness had commenced…

  9. "F*cking bifocals!"

    • that's good too!

      • Thanks, Sean! But only those of us over forty will get it…

        Ken Dryden's been my hero since I was about 10, and I still find him a pretty good one. Boring as heLL in the HoC, mind you, but a wonderful egg in all.

        I took my son to meet him a few years ago and asked him to sign a photo of himself in one of my 1972 Canada/Russia series books. In it, as here, the goal was behind him in the net — Dryden asked if I had some whiteout to rub over the puck.

  10. Dryden:" Hope these new puck proof glasses are up to the job"?

  11. Dryden:" I don't care how many frigg'n pucks get by me – i'm not doing that butterfly crap"!

  12. Dryden suits up for team liberal these days. " It's not quite like in my time with the habs" he says. " For one thing, back then, we spent more time more time shooting on the other guy's net ' he sighs.

  13. "Can I get some help with this glove? Seems heavier than I remember."

  14. I'm getting old, I'm bent over, but the next task is to get back up.

    Just cause I'm a Liberal, Harper didn't even acknowledge me and "I" played hockey and "I" wrote a hockey book.

  15. Some MPs have gone to great lengths to avoid voting for the HST.

  16. Dryden musing on his twin careers so far:

    "Both the habs and the libs do seem to be rather resting on their laurels these days…sigh…on the bright side, thank god i didn't run for the greens…or play for the lafs…er leafs".

  17. Looks like Ken Dryden and Frankie Avalon have a lot in common.

    They both want to be in "a net"

  18. "In other news, Brian Burke and the Toronto Maple Leafs scouting staff have started scouring rinks across the country to see if they can improve their fortunes between the pipes for the 2010-11 season….

    • Further news. The leafs are said to be scouting Vanloan and Baird. " Both are clueless can't skate, but are mean in the corners"! said Burke," they'll fit it nicely.'

  19. You know hockey and politics are very similar. I can't seem to move anywhere in either without a little help. Help? I asked for help here!

  20. I'd like to see some parliamentary hockey. My guess is the Liberals could field quite a team and I'd bet on them to beat the other parties.

  21. "Forget the puck in the net, it's the slapshot hurtling at my head that worries me."

  22. Dryden takes one off the nogg'n.Both Ignatieff and Rae deny firing the puck.

  23. They told me it was the best way to get a liberal into Quebec.

  24. I put this as a question into the comments for last week's mailbag report, but I think the question is important enough to repeat here. Your readers really do need to know.

    What flavour Jello, and why?

    A followup question if I may: if it were Elin and Tiger's latest 20 conquests, would you change the flavour?

  25. Mr. Dryden's greatest achievement to date was graduating top of his class at hunchback school.

  26. Oops! I hope they think that was a puck.

  27. News flash! Dryden finally passes the puck he took in the face years ago.

  28. I think I just farted!
    Arn McCallum