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Nickname challenge: Guergis & Jaffer


 

The Liberals are attempting to apply the nickname “Bonnie and Clyde” to Conservative couple Helena Guergis and Rahim Jaffer. Decent enough, in that it conveys a sense of lawlessness. Can we top it?

My entry: Screech and Chong.

Winner gets a slap on the wrist and the opportunity to refer, without repercussion, to one of the provinces of our federation as a “sh*thole.”

UPDATE: A nickname is a tricky thing. You’ve got to balance creativity with usability. Jack’s entry – B*tch Sassidy and the Crackdance Kid – gets a 10 for creativity. But would people actually use it? Madeyoulook’s “Huff and Puff” isn’t quite as brilliant, but might be more functional. I also very much liked:

  • Not Stephen Colbert’s DUI Lewis and the Rudes (no chance of it being used, but I’m a sucker for ’80s references);
  • Dot’s Pissed ’n Boots;
  • Sean’s Snooty and the Blowfish;
  • JustinWordswrth’s The Princess and the Plea.

I’m not sure we’ve come up with anything that might actually gain traction, but funny stuff all around.


 

Nickname challenge: Guergis & Jaffer

    • I was going to suggest Helena Handbasket and…. well… something.

      But we're done here. First Post and you have my vote, sir.

    • Aargh. I start conjuring something along the b*tch cassidy theme, come down to the comments, and… sigh.

      I am waving a thoroughly outclassed and impotent weakling fist in your general direction, Mitchell. Don't say you weren't warned.

      • No no, not outclassed at all, I was just online when Mr. Feschuk posted & took the obvious one. : )

        • "outclassed and impotent weakling…" No no, not outclassed at all…

          Your momma is fat, ugly, rude, smells funny and her lisp whenever she screeches about something is sooo annoying! Hey! She doesn't lisp!

          • LOL, sorry, I missed that! : )

  1. Puff and Dragon

    • Or maybe "Huff & Puff."

  2. Scott:
    For the sake of national unity, I sincerely hope your contest does not ask that we vote on the province that deserves the reference.

      • Sorry, I cannot help but imagine that sentence in a Colbert-ian tone of voice, notwithstanding your nametag.

      • I guess you're right. Nova Scotia just had it coming to it, I suppose…

  3. MADD Max Beyond Thunder_____(writer's block for something appropriate in place of "dome")_____

    I leave this gift to the greater Blog Central community to improve through wikification, should anyone so choose. But I am (at least somewhat) proud of the "MADD" part…

    • MADD Max Beyond the Green Gables ThunderBolt.

      But I am still not satisfied with the ending…

  4. Rahelena Gaffer?

    • Actually, we here in the riding had taken to calling them Rahena…

  5. The Lady Bing! Tokie.

    • For the first time, I feel I richly deserve that negative score.

      • For the first time? Really? ;-)

        • Yes.

  6. Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI

  7. Screech and Chong would be demeaning to the seemingly sane and intellegent former intergovernmental affairs minister Michael Chong.

    • How's about Screech and Bong?

      • We have a winner folks!

  8. MADD Max and the Hot Potato

    There. I am done. It'll have to do.

  9. DUI Lewis and the Rudes
    Grievous and Butt-heads
    Drugs Bunny and Squeaky Bird
    Pillbert and Sulkivan
    Crabbot and Costeblow

    Yes, I am ashamed of myself.

    • "Grievous and Butt-heads "

      How about Grievous and Cokehead?

  10. Paris and Nicole?

  11. PMS & SOB.

    No, no, that won't fly….

    • If "won't fly" was intentional, that was great!

  12. Rats. I can't thumbs-down myself…

  13. Pissed 'n Boots

  14. Snooty and the Blowfish

    • We have a winner

    • Better than Feschuk's! Sooner or later, you're going to steal his job.

      • I agree with your assessment of Sean's submission, but come on. Feschuk didn't try that hard on this one. He is graciously giving us a chance to share our talents with confidence.

  15. Wry and Coke?

    Tokey and the slammed-it?

    • I love it!

    • Oh, that's good!

  16. Con-Con.

  17. Ab*+ch and Cokestello…
    Who's on third?

  18. Indiana Jonesing and the Airport of Doom.

  19. The Bimbo and the Mimbo.

  20. Canadians have a sense of fairness and decency, such that attributing the personal wrongs of a former member of a group, to the group would be viewed as petty and wrong.

    Thankfully, the Liberals are so desperate for power and out of touch with the average Canadian, they're acting as if this is a central policy plank important to all Canadians.

    It's a good thing we're no longer prorogued, so that parliament can be used for issues that are the benefit of all candians, and not a stage for petty partisanship.

    • There is always some old man trying to ruin our fun…

    • That's a bit long for nicknames.

      • It doesn't even rhyme either!!!

  21. Then again,

    perhaps when Canadians ponder to consider whether a party is actually a "government in waiting", at the top of their priority list is the ability to think creatively in the world of name calling.

    • Biff, have a snort booze or otherwise and lighten up.

      • ^…and light'er up.

    • Biff, has someone convinced you that Feschuk is the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada and that this blog post is a caucus meeting.

      'Cause I don't think myl would get an invite to a Liberal Party caucus meeting (no offense myl!).

      However, if you wish to continue to delude yourself in to thinking that the comments of random internet users on a post at a humour blog has anything whatsoever to do with whether or not the Liberal Party of Canada can be seen as a "government in waiting", then have at it. It just opens up for your opponents the opportunity to attribute any crazy, over-the-top comment at SDA as indicative of the platform of the Conservative Party of Canada.

      • So the Liberals are not making anything of this issue, its all just a bit of fun by some zany bloggers?

      • Liberals call them "Bonnie and Clyde" here:

        http://www.theglobeandmail.com/blogs/bureau-blog/

        One would think this SHOULD be in the realm of jokster bloggers, but alas,

        it's front and center within the highest echlons of the Liberal party.

        This is the serious business of tackling issues important to all Canadians, the Liberals have been promising us with the removal of prorogation.

        I guess I could try to dream up a way in which the Liberals would prove Harper correct about the Liberals lack of seriousness, pettiness (and now wasteful use of apparently precious parliamentary time),

        but it would be tough to top this.

        • Well, I agree that comparing them to Bonnie and Clyde is utterly silly.

          Bonnie and Clyde didn't get away.

  22. Blow versus the Volcano
    Shouting, Blowis and Gram

  23. Coke Zero

  24. Mommy Dearest & Mel?

  25. Guergis George and the Gaffer

  26. Uh well the guy doesn't even hold public office anymore, so what does it really matter?

    Seriously, guys, aren't there better things to do?

    • Yes Mom,

      Of course there are better things to do. In fact, that observation could apply to the entire internet.

      Don't you have better things to do, like baking Dad some cookies?

    • "Seriously, guys, aren't there better things to do? "

      You are asking Liberals?……………………….NO, it's all they got!
      This is the standard of discourse that Iggy is talking about getting them to! It's all in fun except for pooping puffins or Cretins face, which I happened to have chuckled at because I hated the bastard! Of course the media is in on what the standards are that we must abide by (Liberal's poking fun=good, Conservatives poking fun=scandal), witness Maclean's allowing space for this trash! The Sun chain doesn't even stoop to this grade school level, and they are classed as a tabloid!

  27. The Ottawa powder couple.

  28. Helenahim

  29. Re-Guergi-tate and Jaff-ingstock

  30. High & Lowest?

  31. Kilo Wails?

  32. Scratch & Sniff?

    • Aw, now you've done it. You have actually made me feel sympathy for her…

  33. D.U.I. and F.U.P.E.I.

    • That garnered a genuine LOL out of me.

  34. Ontario Attorney General's Office declares general amnesty on all drunk driving charges in Ontario until Michael Bryant's criminal trial on death of cyclist Darcy Allan Sheppard is resolved.
    In an effort to pre-emptively discharge public outrage and condition Canadian public to believe that all politicians get special treatment in Canadian courts regardless of their political stripes Ontario Liberals delayed criminal trial of Michael Bryant and moved froward trial of Rahim Jaffar. Since their ploy did not work exactly as planned and public outrage instead of focusing on federal Conservatives as it was planned, focused on Attorney General of Ontario Chris Bentley and his minions, legal eagles at the Ontario Attorney General's Office decided to declare general amnesty on all drunk driving charges in Ontario until Michael Bryant's criminal trial on death of cyclist Darcy Allan Sheppard is dealt with in hopes that all the drunk drivers who are going to get off the hook in Ontario Courts will form a human shield around Michael Bryant when he walks out of Ontario Provincial Court as a free man.

  35. Will the real rahim jaffer stand up!
    It's a classic

  36. In one incident in 2008, when she was the secretary of state for Foreign Affairs, Guergis flew to Mexico for a cocktail reception with expatriates and diplomats without getting the OK from Harper's office. The trip created a controversy afterwards because Guergis failed to visit a Canadian languishing nearby in a Mexican jail. Harper's office was not pleased. So this was the biatch

  37. How bout we call Jaffer 'Igor the toronto bike thief'

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