NRA: The world’s foremost child protection agency

Gun-free schools are the most dangerous places on earth, right?


Are you a deranged young man living in the United States who fantasizes about shooting up your former school, but you’re worried that Joe Biden and his gun control “task force” will rob you of your assault rifle or subject you to endless background checks at the next gun show? Well have no fear, because there’s someone looking out for you. That’s right…

Thanks to insufficient mental health resources (chances are nobody knows just how deranged you are, or can’t afford to help you even if they do) and the new NRA-sponsored “operation school shield program”  you may just get to keep your guns forever. All of them.

Are you a veteran? Excellent. Used to be a cop? Even better.

Everyone knows, especially the world’s foremost child protection agency (the NRA, of course), that cops and soldiers are good guys. And all good guys should have guns, and go to school with said guns, because what is a gun-free school, if not an open invitation for bad guys. That’s right. Contrary to popular opinion (and fact), gun-free schools are the most dangerous places on earth. Ever. (As a Canadian survivour of the gun-free school system, I thank God every day for sparing my life.)

So what are you waiting for! Write to the NRA today. You know what they say. Early bird gets the AR-15.

If you didn’t catch the NRA press conference Friday morning, you probably don’t know that the NRA, like most of us, is really just in it for the kids. So in addition to Operation-scare-the-sh-t-out-of-American-youth, they’ve come up with a couple other strategies to tackle gun violence.

1. Mortal Combat must go, because everyone knows that the Kunai and Razor Rimmed Hat are gateway weapons to the bushmaster.

There exists in this country, sadly, a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people, through vicious, violent video games with names like “Bulletstorm,” “Grand Theft Auto,” “Mortal Kombat,” and “Splatterhouse.”

2. We have to “cherish our kids more than our money.” An exceedingly selfless proposition as it will be hardest, no doubt, for the NRA itself.

From the New York Times:

Officials from the N.R.A. have repeatedly said their main goal is to protect the Second Amendment rights of rank-and-file members who like to hunt or want guns for protection. But that claim is at odds with surveys that show a majority of N.R.A. members and a majority of American gun owners often support restrictions on gun sales and ownership that the N.R.A. has bitterly fought.

For instance, a 2009 poll commissioned by Mayors Against Illegal Guns found that 69 percent of N.R.A. members would support requiring all sellers at gun shows to conduct background checks of prospective buyers, which they do not have to do now and which the N.R.A. has steadfastly argued against. If lawful gun owners are willing to subject themselves to background checks, why is the association resisting? Its position appears only to serve the interest of gun makers and dealers who want to increase sales even if it means having dangerous weapons fall into the hands of criminals and violent individuals.”

Or the next Adam Lanza.


NRA: The world’s foremost child protection agency

  1. MMmmm… ‘gun-free schools are the most dangerous places on earth’

    Well aside from the fact there were two cops at Columbine….if all schools were ‘armed’ then shooting up day care centres or nursing homes is next.

    Then maybe offices, restaurants and so on.

    At what point do you admit you’re living in an armed camp, and not a country?

    At what point do you admit you no longer have a society….you have a police state?

  2. These NRA types are getting harder to figure out.
    Throw away a handful of other rights in a trade to keep future gun owners from the next crazed game addict? Freedom with constant police babysitters? Nanny’s with guns going to be the next idea?

  3. The fact remains America has too many criminally insane people walking the streets on mind altering drugs who are capable of any number of heinous acts. They also have insufficient security to deal with the issue of derangeed school shooters. I’m no NRA fan and disagree with their politics often, but at least they are opening up the dialogue to solve real problems with some suggestions that stray from the emotion/hysteria driven call for taking away the rights of the innocent. Those who deride the NRA must realize they have millions of members and whether you agreee with them or not they are entitled to a seat at the table where public policy is forged – as much right as the anti-gun groups.
    School and public shootings in America are epidemic. The first thing to do is to find out what is causing it. There was no such thing as school and mass shootings until the 70s – what changed? America was always awash in guns but not mass crime shootings at schools. This is not the fault of the NRA or gun owners or the so called gun culture – there are no mass shootings at gun shows, gun ranges or gun club venues or anywhere the gun culture gathers. The answer lies in understanding what attracts deranged people to school shootings. No, I won’t accept the expanation that some inanimate but dangerous piece of equipment made them do it. All I know is it has to stop and the best way to do that is display to any potential psycho shooter that they will not succeed in their dream of imortalization as a mass murderer.
    I recall an incident in Canada not long ago where someone who should have been institutionalized terrorized a bus and cut a victim’s head off while the police sat outside. The mad man had a knife but if just one person on that bus was empowered to use lethal force, there would not be a greiving family today. We have to seriously rethink our notions about responsibility and ability to properly defend ourselves, our family and our fellow citizens in the face of lethal criminality when there is no police intervention.

  4. Unfortunately the consensus media is the problem.. In the incredible hurry to out do each other, they will print just about anything simply to Sensationalise ANY form of violence because if it Bleeds it leads, and rarely does it actually contain accurate information.. This is the same pack that has just named murderer Luka Rocco Magnotta as Canada’s 2012 News maker of the Year. Wow, how wonderful that they have finally set the bar and purpose to acclaim the next murdering news maker of the year. EVERYTHING proposed by the NRA will work, because it HAS worked in other countries. EVERYTHING proposed by the hand wringing, left has NEVER worked ANYWHERE in the world! They just can’t bring themselves to believe their wrong in the face of overwhelming evidence. Gun Free Zones are the problem.. It’s not as if the Nut-Job looks at the sign and thinks Oh darn I can’t shoot anyone here.. The Nut-Job looks at the signs and thinks wow.. I’m safe from anyone that’s going to try and shoot me.. Give your head a shake. When you call 911 you are calling for someone ‘else’ to bring a gun to your rescue. Cops are not Jedi Knights, ANYONE can be trained to the same level as your average traffic cop. I used to shoot on a regular basis with people that could draw a pistol, and put 8 holes in the ‘A’ zone of four targets in under 3 seconds. Many of these people fired upwards of 30,000 rounds a year, and were experts. Compare this with your average cop. Most just have rudimentary training, and most only fire a gun once a year to qualify themselves to continue to carry what is largely a decoration on their uniform, yet for some reason, the public seems to think this is OK.. This is NOT OK. With a few exceptions, most civilian shooters are FAR better trained, and safer than your average police officer. If you don’t Believe me ask anyone that shoots regularly on a range with police officers. The stories could make your hair curl..