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“remind me – which naked lady is your daughter again?”


 

So what we’ve got in this here photograph is Playboy’s Playmate of the Year, Jayde Nicole of Port Perry, Ont. She’s the one wearing the Playboy rabbit necklace and, disappointingly, clothes.


On the right, sporting trendy sunglasses and a penis that’s deeply grateful for the afternoon off, is Hugh Hefner.

And on the left is… Jayde’s Mom! This is a touching moment and thank heavens it was captured as a digital image. For I ask you: could there be a more exciting rite of passage for a young 21st century woman than introducing her mother to her pornographer?

What we don’t know, alas, is precisely what Hef is saying to Jayde’s Mom. What are the possibilities — and the odds of them being Hugh Hefner’s actual statement?

30-1 “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

5-2 “I’m going to look slightly to the left as we converse – my eyes aren’t accustomed to seeing so much old.”

8-1 “Look – let’s not dwell on who did what to whose daughter…”

4-1 “Do you have Miley Cyrus’s phone number?”

6-5 “Having touched me on my shoulder, you may want to go wash your hands. And begin consecutive daily intramuscular injections with procaine penicillin to combat syphilis.”


 

“remind me – which naked lady is your daughter again?”

  1. What a hilarious headline! Your post also played up what I was thinking by the mainstream news coverage of this supposed honour — as if it’s a big accomplishment. The media, a mother and a hometown consider it laudatory because one of its young girls successfully titillates randy men with her nubile naked body? Come on, mom. It’s not about her pretty face.

  2. 8-7 How’s about a Miss and Mrs November photo shoot?

  3. Breaking: Women trade their bodies for money, news at 11:00.

  4. Clearly, Mom is hoping to be next.

  5. She appears to have symmetrical balance!

  6. Where is Hugh going with his right hand? You can see Jayde looking at it! Way to go Heff! Mom and Daughter.

  7. Amazing, role models for our children: the morally and intellectually bankrupt. That this actually made the news is not surprising but that young girls in schools now list “porn star” as a career choice…..right is now wrong and wrong is now right….it is no longer “how far we’ve come” rather “how far we’ve fallen”

  8. Is Hefner entering into alzheimers territory (mind going back to the past) – correct me if I’m wrong here, but doesn’t this girl look exactly like Hef’s old girlfriend from 20 or 30 years agao – Barbie Benson?

    She does to me.

  9. The title, among many drew me to this article. Finally, someone speaks of the shadow on human hearts. In an age where prostitution has taken on many faces, in Hefner’s hell–society celebrates it.

    Dress it up, or in this case dress it down, any way you like: everyone’s daughter is put up with legs splayed for all the world to devour. And as millions masturbate to the image the ancient cult of ultimate existential futility rises again. The old idolatry with all its power to disconnect humanity from goodness creates a perverse world where evil is celebrated as good, and good is castrated and labelled passé.

    Even when we think this is someone’s daughter we move this denigration from the realm of the immediate to some one else’s despair. But this is our despair, my despair, your despair that our daughter has become a whore: Everyone’s whore.

  10. I haven’t looked at a Playboy in years. Is it still the PG-rated stuff with no genitals allowed, or have they gone more explicit now to compete with online entertainment? Unfortunately, Jayde doesn’t entice me enough to run out and buy a copy.

  11. Wow, so judgmental we all are. And the rest of us have never judged anyone on their physical appearance, have we? Is it really so bad this one succeeded because she was naked? Who is the victim here?

    Which would you be more upset with, your daughter dying of bolemia at the age of 16 in an attempt to measure up with the skinny model she saw on TV, or if she grew up, posed naked in a magazine, and then went on to lead a happy life?

  12. you know what i haven’t had in a while? big league chew.

  13. Funny how the Canadian media, who generally dislike most things about the United States, are drooling over this story. What a triumph for our small town Canadian girl ! She has earned the love and respect of… Hugh Hefne! It says something about the values held by most of the Canadian media.

  14. Gustav,more like dying of bolemia, drinking diet coke three meals a day, can’t get a job as a model or a dancer, see the strippers make all that green, get a boob job, then get forgotten next month when the strangers are done with you and your new coke habit becomes a bother for them.

  15. mmm big league chew.

    ps. it’s “bulimia”

  16. No mainstream news sites have any of the Playboy “spreads”, of course. Copyright infringement, porn, ruin the kids etc etc. You have to add one more mouse click to go to Google Images for that kind of thing. Aren’t we wonderfully hypocritical creatures?

    ps: if that’s playmate of the year, I’m glad I missed the other 11 months.

  17. Ya big league chew – try it with poprocks.

    Who the he** is Hugh Hefner?

  18. Of course, the Mock Indignation Brigade ™!

    I would have expected nothing less from the commenters here.

  19. re: comment by ryan

    Well, maybe I’m indignant about your indignance over other people’s indigance over the subject in question.

    No, actually I’m not indignant. I’m interested in other people’s point of view, about the subject, not about other posters and how devilishly stupid they may be compared to you.

    In Mr T-speak, “I pity you, fool!”

  20. I seem to be one of the few that celebrates that the sexual oppression of yesteryear is finally disappearing, and we can enjoy and celebrate the things that evolution has naturally instilled in us via selection openly and without shame. How wonderful that women can openly express themselves as sexual beings again.

    Hopefully, one day soon, the outdated notions that we are only beings of intellect and not physical or sexual beings as well will disappear.

  21. Outdated? Look, I respect you opinion as well as the conviction with which you put it forth. I am 13 years old, and I live near James Bay, just half a kilometer away from one of the biggest Cree reserves in Canada. I know no less then 12 14 year-olds with children. I know even more fifteen, sixteen and seventeen year-olds, some with as many as three or four. What my friends, peers and aquaintances need to learn is not to ‘openly express themselves as sexual beings’, but to, excuse my language, keep it in their pants.

  22. Nothing much has changed if you asked me. People are still overthinking nudity.

  23. It’s truly amazing that the media picks up on this tripe when there are real issues in the world worth reporting. Who cares about some tweaked, twiddled, silicone injected, shaved, primped, under educated woman who has the same future as the likes of Anna Nicole Smith? She’ll be yesterdays news before she can blink an eye. As a father, I’d not be proud to have my daughter hanging with the likes of Huge Heffer and his gang.

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