We have a dog. What we do not have is a name for the dog, owing to an inability to achieve unanimity or even a majority among family members. Traditional names have been proposed. Offbeat names have been proposed. Verbs, adverbs, dance steps and Star Wars characters have been proposed. Most frustrating of all, each and every one of my football-inspired monikers has been shot down (“Come on,” I persist, “what exactly don’t you people like about ‘D’Brickashaw?’”)
First to propose the name we select gets something nice and boozy in the mail, like a good bottle of wine or Mel Gibson’s breath.