Special Mailbag: Dear Prime Minister - Macleans.ca
 

Special Mailbag: Dear Prime Minister


 

The Prime Minister is scheduled to go on YouTube tonight to answer the questions of Canadians and be mistaken for the grown-up Star Wars Kid. If you submit a question that doesn’t get answered, if you see one there you wish he’d replied to, or if you have any other query for Stephen Harper, type it below. I’ll answer a bunch on Wednesday in my Twitter alter ego as The Voice in the PM’s Head.


 
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Special Mailbag: Dear Prime Minister

  1. Dear PM. I'd really love to become a member of your fan club. But unfortunately i can't kick my habit of listening to "expert"or "informed" opinion before making up my mind – can you help? ps…i love americanos and good coffee shops… and Timmy's pretty much sucks out west.[ no fresh donuts]. signed frustrated wanne be, average guy conbot.

    • No fresh donuts here in Toronto either.

  2. Where will you find a good neurosurgeon after your head explodes?

  3. Dear Stevie,

    If there was a scandal involving a cabinet minister and she/he wasn't hot or dating someone hot, how fast would you actually accept or demand his/her resignation?

    Kind-of-a-corrolary: How many provincial airports do you have to freak out at before you get punted? Or how many papers do you have to leave at the love pad "by accident"? Would you ever kick Lindsay Lohan out if she was an MP?

    So many questions…so little seal meat.

    Thanks.

  4. Dear Prime Minister, I know you need to pander to all those Baby Boomer voters and their Gaddammed Beatles but what about our generation? Are you forgetting Alice Cooper? Were you comatose for the entire Grade 8 and 9? Can you not just put on the makeup and get out your snake and for once let Gen X speak for Canada?

  5. What was the closest you came to being elected class president and are you still bitter?

  6. Dear Prime Minister:

    Just how traumatic was your adolescence, anyway?

  7. You know the first day you went to work as the PM and you got really anxious and couldn't breath really well and ended up in the hospital? I bet that was embarrassing eh?.

  8. Sir: How can a fair-minded person distinguish between real facts and facts made up by scientists?

  9. Sir: Given that Scott Feschuk has never run for anything (including dog-catcher), and has zero political, administrative and business experience, do you think him even remotely qualified to rant-on about anything of a political or business nature?

    • Now excuse yourself mister!

  10. Do you know how to put a barbeque together? 'Cause I have to put one together tonight and I never understand those korean instructions that they leave with the barbeque. So do you?

  11. Dear voice in PMs head AKA the great puppeteer:

    Did you enjoy a seemingly endless week of Schadenfreude moments following the comedic antics of that Conservative Power Couple Hellena and Rahimm?

    Sincerely
    Tceh

  12. Sir: Is that a toupee? I assume so, but want to be sure.

  13. Dear PM,
    Is it true dinosaurs were around only 6 thousand years ago? Why did they have to die? Bet it was the Liberals fault. If you get rid of the Liberals is it possible the dinosaurs can come back…cuz that would be cool.
    Stoner

  14. So, what is your take on the importance of African tribal sovereignties to Canada?

  15. Dear PM,
    Being PM comes with a lot of responsibility. What would you say your toughest job is, apart from remembering the GG's ph number?

  16. Dear Voice Inside the Right Honourable Head:

    Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, heart pounding, sweat flowing, recovering from a disorienting nightmare in which you figured it would be wise to steal wealth from the future in order to massively intervene in the economy? Was that the scary part in the dream, or was it the realization that when you stood in the House to speak, you weren't wearing any clothes?

  17. To the U tube Harper-like voice

    Now that you are taking internet funds away from community groups and hospitals can I use your computer? I know you haven't had to look for a job in a long time. Did you know that all the jobs are on the internet now and not in the newspapers? You might want to make a note of that.

  18. Dear PM: Why is Pierre Polievre your Parliamentary Secretary?

  19. Dear Prime Minister,

    Yesterday, in your Firetube Chat, you remarked that

    if I don't name senators in the absence of election, then the Senate will be controlled not just by unelected senators, by unelected senators that elect a government that people…that represent a government people didn't elect, and that was the previous government. So we'll continue to appoint senators.

    but then went on to describe

    the assumption that somehow drugs are bad because they're illegal. The reason drugs…it's not that. The reason drugs are illegal is because they are bad.

    I'd just like to say that that is far out.

    Yours,

    Jack Mitchell

  20. Dear prime minister: who advised you that on social networking sites, the "kids" like to watch boring old white dudes in suits, sitting down in chairs and talking about public policy?. That it's most effective when it just seems like the worst TV show they can possibly imagine? That it will help your awkward, unpersonable self connect with young, cool people with short attention spans who like things broken out into bytes and tweets?

    Was that Dimitri again? Isn't that trust wearing a bit thin yet?

  21. Dear Prime Minister:
    During the Winter Olympics which the many friends you have among the world leaders did you most enjoy playing gracious host to?

  22. Dear Prime Minister:

    Does this Fedora make me look like a dork?