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stéphane dion: real man of manliness


 

Today, the Liberals will unveil a new website profile of Stéphane Dion, entitled This is Dion. According to the Globe, it will portray the Liberal leader “as an outdoorsy, passionate, family- and dog-loving man” and will attempt to counter Conservative efforts to describe him as “less manly, less decisive and more aloof” than Stephen Harper.

What specifically will we learn about the Liberal leader in This is Dion?

  • Finished respectable third in recent season of American Gladiators.
  • Can belch alphabet in both official languages (first Canadian public figure to do so since Adrienne Clarkson).
  • It was Dion – and Dion alone – who boldly decided to post No Fat Chicks sign on door of Liberal election bus.
  • Has recently bulked up to an intimidating 143 pounds.
  • Similar to alpha male Jay-Z in that he’s got 99 problems and a comprehensive plan to address each in the context of changing demographics and an increasingly competitive global marketplace.
  • Like any self-respecting man’s man, frequently uses expression “by the short and curlies.”
  • Equipped with only a compass and his own wits, he can track, locate and bore to tears a herd of caribou.
  • English is so sketchy because he’s constantly hammered on Coors Light.
  • Toiled for hours to ensure election launch speech would sync up perfectly with Cum on Feel the Noize.
  • So committed to new climate-change plan that he left dog Kyoto by side of highway and bought parrot “Green Shift” on way home.
  • On personal front, unrelated to Celine Dion except in sense of being disliked by three-quarters of Canadians.

 

stéphane dion: real man of manliness

  1. Hillarious! Thanks for the laugh. Leasa

  2. Can you PLEASE leave Celine out of this political crap!!!??? For a singer who you say is disliked by three quarters of Canada… How could she hold the record for the artist who has the most number of Diamond Albums (1 million units) in Canada, with 7 albums that went Diamond!!! THAT is about three quarters of Canada that own one of her albums…

  3. Whoah, Rene, I mean John, calm down.

  4. no john, it means that one million canadians own 7 celine dion albums each. we call those people “acceptable losses”.

  5. make fun of him and complain people don’t know him…he tries to let them know who he is and make fun of him….wow, how mature and funny – charming.

    Leave comedy to the real comedians.

  6. Go back to your posts on Britney Spears, Scott. That way it is easier to spot that it’s Feschuk blog drivel, and more quickly ignored.

  7. I really dislike journalist like you who can resist plugging their own dislike for artists by doing broad generalization about their supposedly unpopularity. That’s pathetic. Grow up!

  8. Haha, I love how the Macleans blogger who elicits BY FAR the most contempt is the humour columnist. Funnier still, who could have guessed that the most rabidly partisan Canadian political observers were *Celine* Dionistas? You’ve really stepped in it this time, Feschuk…

  9. ROFL – LMAO – now this is funny the part about Celine is the kicker. Attaboy Scott – ignore the left wing nuts who seem to be running around in circles right now as one should make allowances and keep up the good work. May I suggest some puffin jokes out here on the west coast if a seagull (sh*thawk) gets you it is considered good luck – at least for the guy standing next to you anyways…

  10. I bet he’s never ever shot a gun.

    All I can do is hum the Monty python lumber jack song,

    Dion’s so manly.

  11. I concur with dinosaur,
    manly lumber jack :)

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