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Take that, Twitter (I mean, Tk tht Twttr)


 

I registered on Twitter a while back, and even wrote a couple tweets, but like many people I’ve found it difficult to adapt to the site’s limit of 140 characters per entry. Simply put, that’s way too many characters.

Just like the hip kids today, I harbor a pathological urge to use the chrome-shiny faddishness of social messaging to inform others of my every thought, observation and activity – even when such musings, were they to be uttered verbally, would prompt everyone within a 20-foot radius to contract an acute case of who-the-f%!#-caresosis.

But typing 22 to 24 words? Dude, who’s got the time?

That’s why I’m introducing my new messaging utility, Bwh.

Bwh allows you to keep in touch with friends, update colleagues and perpetuate the illusion that your daily tedium has subtle undertones of meaning. But it does so while keeping postings to a more reasonable number of characters: nine.

Also, no vowels.

Did you totally sleep in? Let the world know you totally slept in. Just log on to Bwh and type: “Ttl slptn” Future generations will cherish your insight into the human condition.

Did you come across something really boring on the Internet? Warn everyone with Bwh: “www=zzzzz”

Did seeing a dog in a pet store window make you sad? Don’t keep that kind of emotional gold to yourself. Bwh it! “dg = frwn”

Bwh is the future of social messaging, web-savvy interactions and desperate cries for attention. Start Bwhing now before starting to Bwh makes you seem helplessly trendy.


 
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Take that, Twitter (I mean, Tk tht Twttr)

  1. y=vwl?

  2. Fschk=lol

  3. u=crzd

    • If we don’t use vowels, the terrorists win. (Neither Arabic nor Farsi spell out vowels.)

  4. yay, I’ve killed literacy! (fine, rap music helped)

    • Don’t blame rap for hip hop’s sins.

      • prince/symbl got 2 b 1 uv tha masterminds on this non?

        • rcks (spelling, Jack)

          • rcks=>9
            sctt=rcks
            wy kyl
            nf sd
            stp nw!
            stp! stp!
            wr ll dmd

    • Just the final nail in the coffin.

  5. Fschk ftw!

  6. SF: As usual, you are side-splitting!

    But as someone who volunteers in the adult & family literacy field, one of those sides knows this is a big problem. Your send-up sure touches a nerve here. (But don’t stop!!!)

  7. Twttr pwnd.

  8. FTF

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