The caption challenge's sexy cousin: the definition challenge -

The caption challenge’s sexy cousin: the definition challenge


For the final challenge of 2008 (not counting my post-Christmas “Fitting into those pants” challenge, which I prefer to conduct in the privacy of my own shame) I invite you to click on over to my column from this week’s magazine, read what I have attempted to do and then effortlessly come up with your own definitions that are funnier, more clever and more likely to make the famous person named in the definition collapse weeping, alter his ways and dedicate his ensuing inspirational self-help book to you and your penetrating insight.

The winner, as declared by a jury of me early next week, will receive a lovely prize with an actual cash value in the two (2) digits!

Please put your entries in the comments section beneath the column itself, not here. The comments below this post are reserved for names of Christmas carols we’d sing if we were singing honestly about the holiday season. My entry: Christmas Is Coming (And I’ve Got So Much Shit to Do).

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The caption challenge’s sexy cousin: the definition challenge

  1. So happy to be home (happier still if you weren’t here)

  2. What The Hell Is Egg Nog?

  3. Jingle Ladies (Put a Wreath on It)

  4. Saving Capitalism One Useless, Overpriced, Sure to be Unappreciated and End Up in a Garage Sale This Spring Gift at a Time.

  5. Fairytale of New York: A real song, and one that never fails to sum it all up for me, year after year.

    • ..well put!

  6. The Rebel Jesus – The Chieftains

  7. Cheers Sisyphus (from a pagan and a heathen).

  8. Get Your Own Figgy Pudding.

  9. I’m walkin’ (Fats Domino song adapted to Ottawa transit strike)

  10. Lo! He Comes With Clouds Descending (Eyebrow Dancing, Budget Pending)

  11. Drink (Til This Day Makes Some Sorta Sense)

  12. It Came Upon a Midnight Madness Sale (although I don’t think anyone can beat Get Your Own Figgy Pudding).

  13. God Rest Me from My Family…

  14. Oh Come, All Ye Imbeciles

  15. In the Tweaked Midwinter

  16. (If you think that winter is a) Marshmallow World (than shovel my $%^& driveway)

  17. “I Want to Prorogue Parliament for Christmas” (to the tune of ‘I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas’)

  18. Upon review, my comment really only applies to this holiday season… but it’s all I’ve got right now!

  19. Oy! to the world, the bailout reigns.

  20. five MLAs
    four token chicks
    three nova scotians
    two bagmen
    And a fat puffster from CTV