The comic stylings of Tony Clement


The Globe’s Jane Taber reports:

Before sitting down to eat, all [guests at Tony Clement’s 50th birthday party] were required to fill out a long-form census of 40 questions about the Industry Minister. Given the controversy caused this summer over the government’s decision to scrap the mandatory long-form, all the guests had a good laugh.

Ha ha! Oh God, this is sooooo funny, Tony! Just brillllllliant! Because it totally relates back to how you completely neutered the census, right? How you undermined the statistical veracity of a definitive national survey that for decades has provided critical information to the decision makers who shape our public policy and our economy, right? And now you’re having US fill out a long form about YOU! And you can pretend to threaten us with prison and whatnot – or no dessert! My, how jocular! And all to take public pleasure in having, for crass partisan reasons, deprived future generations of leaders of the reliable data they so plainly require! Why, I declare this to be the jape of the season!

Now do one about potash!

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The comic stylings of Tony Clement

  1. I never guessed Feschuk would be the one who couldn't appreciate a bloody joke.

    • Wrong party in power.

    • A real knee-slappin', pee-in-your-pants joke, no less! Har har har har har.

    • He did appreciate the joke.

      The joke was on all of us, after all…

    • The thumbsuckers are out in force I see! I recommend Macleans get rid of the cheerleading/booing section in comments. Its kinda pathetic.

      Oh, sure come and get me thumbsuckers. I don't mind.

  2. That Tony! He's a card! – a get well card, that is.

  3. If the somnolent voters ever wake up …
    then we get the last laugh, you miserable excuse for "a minster of the crown".

  4. You see, Fes. really believes he is the Ottawa humorist —he`s the guy who write the funny political stories.

    When he sees another bit of humor like the census gag at Clement`s birthday party, his first reaction is bitterness. He tries to mask the bitterness with a kind of back-handed, sarcastic, double-back, Fesian humor of his own but the bitterness comes through.

    For those of you familiar with penis-envy, you will recognize this Fesian affliction as a related syndrome: comic-envy.

    • While not doubting your familiarty with penis envy, I think you have confused being funny, with being a joke.

      • Ooh… good one!

  5. This comment was deleted.

    • must have been a long night….

      • they had to pro-rogue with items left on the agenda!

    • So you think joking about the changing of a long form census from compulsory to voluntary and making a joke about the raping of poor African women is equivalent ?

      • To be clear, the invited guests were not the ones participating in the act itself, and mr. Clement made very clear he had no objection to the women receiving aid from other countries.

        • How much more rope do you think you'll need, Mike? You've exhausted my supply.

      • If you want to get a good grasp on the real character of people, grant them anonymity.

        Not only does Mike T. make an absolutely horrendous comparison, but a whole bunch of anonymous thumbsuckers rush to show him approval for the comparison, and they just as quickly rush to show their disapproval of anyone bold enough to object to the comparison.

        Hide in your holes anonymous thumbsuckers, they fit you so well.

        • From a guy who used his opportunity to work from home as a reason to pontificate on why other families didn't need daycare!

          Save your anger for the government who refused to put funding forth for access to abortions in funding maternal care.

          • Don't mistake disgust for anger, Mike.

            I won't even bother to correct your surreal misunderstanding of the daycare thread. If you want to continue to display your ignorance on that topic, continue it over there.

          • You are pontificating again. that is exactly what the above post said NOT to do.

        • Posting as lgarvin is identifying yourself?

          • l for Lawrence, garvin for Garvin

            Unless I'm mistaken, you used to post on the Bourque Newswatch Discussion Forum, but under a different name, right? If so, you already knew that. If not… well, now you do.

    • Yikes! Tasteless. :P

  6. I am still convinced that the only reason that Tony Clement is against the long-form census was because is Leader was against it. If Harper changes his mind, Clement will (I believe) do a seamless and instantaneous 180 degree turn.

    Oh well. I stopped taking Tony Clement seriously years ago, when he famously was quoted as saying that Torontonians were too dependent on public transit. It's a pity, though, that he is in power.

    • I am still convinced that the only reason that Tony Clement is against the long-form census was because is Leader was against it.

      This should read "I am still convinced that the only reason that Tony Clement is against the long-form census was because his Leader was against it.", of course.

  7. Laughing at other people's jokes is always kinda risky. What's hilarious here? that tony thinks something's funny that isn't? that may be contemptible, but not particularly hilarious. no, this comes across as serious. too bad for feschuk, because he's only worth reading when he's not serious. we have wherry for boring attempts at wit that nobody reads.

  8. I still can't believe they cancelled mandatory long form census. What a complete mess.

    • Believe it. Now people who you would give the choice of either lying or going to jail can pick a "neither of the above" option. How messy!

  9. I agree—humor is about context.

    My context has Clement`s joke being funny because a big stink was made about a minor change in census procedure and life goes on.

    Your context has Clement`s joke being unfunny, because the opp. parties realized they would be punished by the electorate if they attempted to bring down the gov`t on such a routine issue.

    • Throwing a pie in the face of a pitcher who just threw a no-hitter is funny. Throwing a pie in the face of a pitcher who just lost a game is just being an a__hole.

      What Clement did wasn't "joking" it was "gloating" and there's a big difference.

    • "Your context has Clement`s joke being unfunny, because the opp. parties realized they would be punished by the electorate if they attempted to bring down the gov`t on such a routine issue."

      What's distinctly unfunny about this government's whole modus operandi is that, while most responsible minority governments would seek to collaborate with other parties in the house on such issues in order to ensure the will of the people is served, these bullies constantly engage in this game of brinkmanship on "routine issues", defying the House to bring the government down on them. One by one, the "routine issues" add up to defiance of the House.

      And then, apparently, they joke about it.

      What a way to govern.

  10. Rumors about Clement's unhappiness abound and apparently these little zings and tweets are his attempt to "wink wink nudge nudge" reporters in his need to be liked. PMO is not amused.

    • And now he's got a new high profile file to shuck and jive over. When Harper put him in Industry, what the hell was he thinking?

  11. Haa anyone else noticed that there at present seems to be an direct relationship between the degree of a sense of humour and the numbers indicated in the polls of late – clearly frustrated left wing nuts are not only losing in the polls but clearly losing what little grasp of a sense of humour they had to begin with. I think it's it hilarious that Tony rubs it into the competition that this gov't will keep it's nose out of whether or not I have 2 bedrooms and one bathroom or the reverse – even better willl be when the numbers come out more accurate since people are more honest if theyare not threatened with jail time for not filling out a mandatory long form census : this time I will be honest with the answers I provide as it will be voluntary – THANK YOU CPC !!!

    • So you're given to lying when faced with authority? You law and order types are full of contradictions.

    • If you truly understood the issue, you would realize it's not a leftwing-rightwing issue. People who understand statistics realize that there will be no way of knowing if the data are accurate with voluntary participation. People who think the government should make its policies based on evidence rather than ideology realize how much the destruction of trustworthy data will cost us when the government needs facts to make wise decisions. Government workers have used census data to guide the ideological driven of any stripe towards policies that can actually work. This tool has been taken away.

      And it's not funny.

      • are you kidding it's hilarious … and I understand all too well as I am in the business – the problem you have is that you suffer from this delusion that somehow mandatory is more accurate than voluntary when time and time again it has been shown that manadory submission of data causes error and resentments which- show me one shred of any evidence to support your a priori ?- have you ever heard of cross indexing and independent follow up …

        • this post is completely incorrect. Staticians, in fact, say the exact opposite.

          • really – have you ever sudied ' statistical analysis ' do you know what a domain is or are you just listening to other frustrated left wing nuts and taking their word without prior investigation which incidentally there is another word for – try learning what a ' Domain ' is then determine whether a mandatory or voluntary one is more accurate – then determine which is better then I will listen to your post

          • Why don't you explain it to us? I have the feeling that without google you'd know a hell of a lot less then you appear to – which isn't saying much. So prove me wrong. Show us why vountary is better, more reliable, since i doubt you can quote a statistician in the land who would support your pov.

          • psi, you do realize that your domains of interest mean any increase in data quality from those already likely to fill out the census gets blown out of the water by the eggageration of differences caused by the non-response bias. Right?

            You also realize that manadory submission of data causes error and resentments AT THE SAME LEVEL as voluntary. Right?

            No employable statistician would ever make those arguments. Why? Because they're not just wrong, they're dishonest.

      • Statisticians also have no way of telling if the information on a self-survey is accurate. I don't know if you've noticed, but they don't send fact-checkers in after you to confirm your answers. If you say your wife does none of the cooking and cleaning, that is what your data point will claim.

        So where's the "trustworthiness"?

  12. On the bright side, perhaps this and his HILARIOUS Twitter feed mean that Minister Clement is considering a career change.

    As Jan said above though, he'd first better make sure that he understands the difference between being funny and being a joke.

  13. No, we are reading blogs created by them!

  14. It's important to remember, though, that the Tony Clement survey findings aren't reliable, because the sample of people at his birthday party isn't representative of the public at large.

    But, anecdotally, 'Canadians' say he's doing an wonderful job as Industry Minister.

    • But, but but, they attended voluntarily – that makes everything allright.

      • Increase the sample size!

  15. OK–point taken, I can understand that anyone opposed to the changes in the census would not see Clement`s humor, and I will admit Clement is not a natural humorist.

    I am not sure why you singled out the good people of PEI to be deserving of being mocked unless it was you who tossed that pie in the face of Gail Shea.

    • On last point, mostly because there are fewer of them. I have also heard rumors the airport is a hellhole. However, the clincher is that they will let anyone on the island for free, but you can't leave til you pay.

      • Yeah, PEI is like Hotel California :
        ——" This could be Heaven or this could be Hell "
        and the final lyrics for your clincher :
        ——-" We are programmed to receive,
        You can check- out any time you like,
        But you can never leave ! "

    • I will admit Clement is not a natural humorist.

      I would suggest that his Twitter feed provides an argument to counter that claim.

      That said, his tweets are not often DELIBERATELY funny I don't think, so you may still have a point.

  16. Preferably one with a good supply of cream pies…

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