The Legend of the Iggy - Macleans.ca
 

The Legend of the Iggy


 

Never laid eyes on it myself, you understand. But I heard the tales.

We all heard the tales.

Twenty-foot tall if it was a foot. Voice like thunder. Glowed from the inside, some say.

From the inside.

Them creatures of the forest – your squirrels and deer and such – they’d sense its presence. They could feel it a-comin’. Feel it in their bones, right? And, well, heh heh – you ain’t never seen scurryin’ like that.

No, sir, I don’t reckon you ever have.

I don’t reckon it at all.

There’s some folk – this ain’t me saying it, but it’s been said – there’s some folk say it could bend an entire United Nations assembly to its will without possessing so much as a platform as Prime Minister.

Like you or I would twist an elastic. Easy-like. Showin’ no strain, if you see what I’m getting at.

Crazy, right? Couldn’t be true, right?

’Cept it is. So the story goes, anyway.


 
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The Legend of the Iggy

  1. BEAUTIFUL!

    Helpless with laughter here!

  2. You'd do better to keep your head down, Mr. Feschuk, before someone comes lookin' to blame YOU.

  3. Good one!

  4. By the pricking of my thumbs…something iggy this way comes.

    'Twas witchery, plain and simple. A man that influential around the world should be pm or something.

  5. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel: cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red, like the fires of Hell.

    • and eyebrows that could snare dragons.

  6. Hahaha, I loved it!

  7. One of your best!

  8. With my deepest apologies to Salinger:

    Raise high the roofbeam, carpenters. Like Iggy comes the bridegroom, taller far than a tall man.

  9. Totally unfair – the Bush administration would have won that first Iraq war vote without Ignatieff's help.

  10. You have a gift Mr. Feschuck ,It has been so long since I laughed untill my throat hurts, well done……

  11. Sorry to see you're back to those Grendl dreams again.

  12. With material like this, gratuitous photos of beautiful girls are unnecessary. (Welcome, but unnecessary.)

  13. Damn. Canada lost… but did we cover the vote spread? And did either of you guys call it?

    • Shouldn't you have figured something was up at that point? And, since you're PM Harper and don't have to check with anybody about anything you are doing, why didn't you withdraw from the seat about halfway through your speech?

  14. Excellent!

    Did you know that George Ignatieff, Michael's father; served as President of the UNSC from 1967-68?

    It's a plot.

  15. Brrrrr. Just in time for Halloween.