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The link between Jack Layton and your bladder


 

Have you heard of Runpee.com? It’s a website that tells you the ideal, won’t-miss-much juncture at which to slip out of a movie to relieve yourself. It also fills you in on what you’ll have missed up on the screen.

We need one of those for Canadian politics.

Sept. 15, 7:32 a.m. OK, this is the part where Jack Layton notices his poll numbers tanking so he climbs into bed with Stephen Harper, a man that for years he has routinely pilloried, condemned and otherwise not liked very much. Striving to create an aura of principled crisis, Jack hogs the political limelight under the pretense of advancing public policy and societal justice, though pretty much everyone attributes his abrupt aboutface to saving his own political bacon. Jack also talks about kitchen tables. Ultimately, Jack votes with a government to which, barely 24 hours earlier, he was philosophically, intellectually, ideologically, morally and possibly even sartorially opposed. He continues to support the government until he is able to crudely manufacture a moment of betrayal that allows him to theatrically withdraw his backing, preferably while surrounded by autoworkers/the unemployed/kitchen tables.

Feel free to dawdle in the bathroom. Should take a couple weeks.


 
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The link between Jack Layton and your bladder

  1. OK, this is the part where Jack Layton notices his poll numbers tanking so he climbs into bed with Stephen Harper,

    Who's on top, Senator Potato Head?

  2. Scott,

    In case you didn't know, runpee.com was created by Jordan Palmer, brother of and backup to QB Carson Palmer, and Dan Florio, brother of Mike Florio of profootballtalk.com.

    I find that funny for some reason.

    • That is kind of funny. In honour of Mike Florio's often 'out there' predictions I'm going to make one with little to no chance of actually happening.
      In order to save the NDP the black eye they'll get from supporting the Conservatives, Jack Layton will resign as his party's leader kicking off a leadership campaign, providing a reasonable cover as to why the NDP can't force an election at this time.
      Press conference to be held at 4pm this Thursday. Reason cited or leaving will be either familly or what I am dubbing, Pulling a Palin. i.e. "After coming to realize that Stephen Harper just doesn't want this minority parliament to work I've decided I can get better results for Canadians by working outside the confines of the legislature."

    • @Scott, Actually RunPee.com was created by Dan Florio – period. He got the idea after watching King Kong and then built the site last year. Jordan is a partner at RockSoftware who built the iPhone app for Dan. And Dan is in no way related to Mike Florio. Though it is a big pro football fan. Go Cowboys!

  3. Sartoriollay Opposed??….cant we just Make Parliament Fabulous

  4. Jealous, Scott? Harper bought Layton for $1 billion, while your old boss had to fork out over $3 billion.

    That's the conservative way — 2/3rds off the asking price. More bang for your buck.

  5. drivel as usual . . . bitter drivel perhaps . . .

  6. But that is what makes Jack so predictable and shamelessly opportune. He will always do the maneuver which will save his short-term ass. This is why it is hard to take him seriously or his issues seriously. Short term he is Harper's daddy but long-term his poll numbers will follow the other guy who tried to manage Harper on a case-by-case basis…Dion.

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