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they tried to make me go to magicuts


 

Let’s play the fun and challenging game that’s sweeping the entire world, even the parts that have Monopoly and Uno: What the Hell Is That Thing on Amy Winehouse’s Forehead?

  • World’s tiniest, most portable cooler holds one-fourteenth of a beer.
  • Those incoming messages from her alien overlords aren’t going to receive themselves.
  • “Blimey – has anyone seen where I put me baked potato?”

  • Just an absolutely colossal zit.
  • Lack of pockets in skimpy attire leaves her no choice but to paste drug stash to face.
  • Hit with spitball in Grade 10 science class – hasn’t look in a mirror since.
  • Prototype for trendy new micro-beret looking sharp!
  • Huge wad of gum she’s saving for later.
  • Decorative facial accent draws attention away from clammy skin, zombie eyes, fangs.
  • I don’t know what it is but she’s coming this way – ruuuuuuuuun!

[Yes, yes, I know she’s probably just dyeing her hair, or bleaching her hair, or somehow having perverted rock-star foil-based sex with her hair, but the point is – ruuuuuuuuuuuuun!]


 

they tried to make me go to magicuts

  1. What? You didn’t mention the bald spot? Scott, you’re slipping!! The Daily Mail had a whole, like, paragraph on that thing where the beehive used to be. Oh no wait – it’s the Daily Mail – they had like, 20 paragraphs on said bald patch.

  2. full disclosure, BLS: in order to make the elixir of eternal life, i needed to mix in a thatch of hair from the world’s drunkest witch. i didn’t think she’d miss it.

  3. whatever the scenarios is, she is good in drawing attention. I love the last line in the [] ((((: haha

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