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Weekend Viewing: Aquaman Destroys the Western Hemisphere


 

While I have said elsewhere that my favourite stupid Superfriends moment is Green Lantern getting knocked out by a red bird, I’ve been informed that this might not actually be from the Hanna-Barbera Super Friends cartoon, though all incarnations of the format before Justice League are equally legendary for their terrible scripts and “everything happens offstage” rule. (If you made a drinking game out of taking a shot whenever the animators save money by keeping a major action offscreen, or have a character tell us what’s happening, you’d be drunk before the Wonder Twin Powers Activate.) So, forced to pick the stupidest H-B Super Friends scene, I unhesitatingly pick this scene, where Aquaman, the most useless superhero in the world, wipes out the Western Hemisphere while trying to put out a fire at sea. And yes, this is all part of the bad guys’ plan. In other words, they are counting on the fact that Aquaman will kill us all whenever he tries to “help” us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaSnCK3g498

Other things we learn:

1) Water is flammable.

2) Even if you have super swimming powers, you get very upset when you have to jump into the water.

3) Batman has a really blasé attitude toward the massive destruction of human life and property by his teammates.

4) In spite of anything Entourage told you, there will never be a successful Aquaman movie.

If you’d like to read more Aquaman-hate, I recommend Seanbaby’s classic entry at his Super Friends page.


 

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