Have you heard about the Obama Playlist? In what is officially described as a contest but seems much more like a sad cry for help, CBC Radio 2 is encouraging listeners – at a current rate of approximately three times a minute – to send in nominations for songs that will “help define Canadian culture” for the new President of the United States.
This is a crucial and urgent exercise because understanding the nuances of Canadian culture is right up there near the top of Barack Obama’s list of priorities for his administration’s first 100 days:
1. Extricate world from most severe economic crisis in 75 years.
2. End war in Middle East.
3. Ponder the extent of April Wine’s influence over the development of the emerging 1970s’ Canadian rock ethos.
4. Reverse global warming.
Officially saddled with the cumbersome title 49 Songs From North of the 49th Parallel (Translation: We’re Up Here! Above You on the Map! Pay Attention to Us!!), the contest will culminate with Radio 2 enthusiasts voting for which 49 tunes will be brought together and sent to Obama, who will immediately listen with rapt attention to the compilation then take us aside the next day during recess to remark: “Wow, I thought you were nerdy and fairly inconsequential on the global stage, but from your wicked mix tape I see now that you are cool and awesome and I totally want to be your best friend and hang out all the time. Please come to my birthday party.”
Somehow sadder than the contest itself is this quote from Denise Donlon, executive director of CBC Radio: “We’re excited about the new President and we want him to be excited about us.”
Firing off some Nickelback and Celine Dion definitely ought to do the trick. But just to be sure, Denise, you might want to carry his books home after school and offer to do his homework for him.