Television

The Bachelorette: Des trims the fat as hometown dates near

Manisha Krishnan on a shirtless frat boy versus a boy scout

ABC

A little rainstorm in Toronto Monday kept me from getting home to watch Bachelorette on time, so I only caught the latter half of the Madeira madness. (It could have been worse: check out this guy.)

I’ll still share a couple of quick thoughts.

On Drew vs. Zak:

These two could not be more obvious character foils. It comes as no surprise that Zak, the manly, shirtless frat boy wins a go-kart race against boy scout Drew on their two-on-one date with Des. The finest editing ABC can afford still doesn’t manage to make that race look remotely close. As for the race for Des’ heart, she claims Drew is “the best looking guy I know” and gives him a rose, but the truth is these two have the chemistry of a couple of prepubescent girls. Yet Des’ generic responses to Zak saying how happy she makes him indicate that she’s not feeling him either. Really, barring any unexpected hiccups in the hometown dates, it’s going to come down to…

Brooks vs. Chris

Originally, I thought Brooks was going to walk away with Des’ heart and hand in marriage. And she does admit to host Chris Harrison that she’s in love with him. But the more I think about it, Brooks winning it all seems a bit too obvious. Also, he would make a really great Bachelor. So we’ll see if Chris, whom she also claims to be falling hard for, and his poetry can pull it out.

As for Michael the “federal prosecutor” being sent home — good riddance. If I did a shot every time he mentioned his job, well, this post would be relying very heavily on spellcheck. I wonder if the next person he cross-examines will bring up the fact that he cried to his mom during his final limo ride.

It has to be said, this season of Bachelorette has been fairly boring drama-free. Perhaps sensing this, Chris Harrison alluded in a recent interview to a big twist in the finale.

“Um, well, it depends on if she ends up with anybody. We haven’t said anything about how the season ends, but I can tell you that Des is in for an emotional, wild ride before we get to the end…and it’s definitely not what everybody is going to think.”

So she might not end up with anybody? Like literally every other Bachelorette in the franchise history except for Trista and Ashley? I’m at the edge of my seat.

I have a feeling the highlight of this season will be Des’ overprotecting and slightly trashy older brother creeping out her dates.

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