For those of you who don’t spend your days obsessing about the Detroit Tigers, here’s the background. In a region rocked by recession, the town’s once-dysfunctional baseball team has been a welcome distraction; at this time last week, the Tigers were comfortably in first place and on the brink of their first division title in 22 years. But then came Friday night. After an 8-0 whipping by the Chicago White Sox, the Tigers suddenly found themselves just one game up with two to play. The team was choking, as the sports reporters like to say. So what does Miguel Cabrera do? The Tigers best hitter (and best-paid at US$152 million) heads to the tavern, pounds a few tequilas, and stumbles through his front door at 6 o’clock the next morning. His wife was none too pleased (Cabrera woke up their four-year-old daughter) and a “physical altercation” ensued. The cops hauled Cabrera downtown and wouldn’t let him leave until Dave Dombrowski, the Tigers’ GM, came to pick him up. Cabrera, who refused to tell the media why his face was scratched, went hitless in the last two games of the season. Now tied for first, the Tigers must play a sudden-death playoff against the Twins in Minnesota tomorrow night. Tigers fans can only hope Miguel’s hotel room doesn’t have a mini-bar.