Small Balls: Adam van Koeverden vs. Elvis Stojko

La première étoile: Adam van Koeverden. The reigning world and Olympic champion kayaker from Oakville, Ont., has been given the huge honour of carrying the Canadian flag during the opening ceremonies at the upcoming Summer Games in Beijing. He also stuck it to Elvis Stojko who recently suggested that Canadian athletes should consider boycotting the Games because of China’s human rights record.

Two minutes for … for not being as awesome as you thought. No offence to Toronto FC fans and the entire MLS, but by losing to the Montreal Impact on Tuesday, and thus being eliminated from the CONCACAF Champions League tourney, two things become blatantly obvious. Firstly, the MLS really is the equivalent of Division III soccer in England, or a beer league in Brazil, and all those fans who pay upwards of $170 to watch a game are, well, suckers. I know people like screaming for the home team at BMO Stadium while shoveling beers down their throats, but let’s be honest, the MLS has a long way to go before it is considered a legitimate league that draws some of the world’s premier players.

More small balls after the break.

Who’s got tickets? Opening round of The Canadian Open at Glen Abbey in Oakville, Ont. Okay, so the field is lacking some big names and the course is like a swamp after being rained on all week, but as we speak Mike Weir has a one shot lead.

Fun police: Speaking of China’s rather lackluster human rights record, Chinese officials have announced that they are going to set up specifically (and strategically) designated zones for protesters to kick and scream in. No word yet as to whether or not Elvis Stojko will be making the trip to scream at Adam van Koeverden.

Extra bases: Ron Artest must have been smiling ear to ear after watching this brawl unfold in a WNBA game between the Detroit Shock and Los Angeles Sparks earlier this week.