ALSO: No Mailbag this Wednesday, as I’m giving a speech this week and really need to get cracking on it. (If only I knew a speechwriter who could help…) However, you could pretend to ask about new airport security restrictions and accept this as my answer. Or you could ask, “Could you please direct me a news story about a strange person who, to my surprise, does not turn out to be Andy Dick?” And I’d say, sure, here you go.
UPDATE @ 2 p.m.(ish) ET: WDM captures the support of more than 30% of voters, despite making them mentally picture Peter Van Loan having sex. Unexpected. But congratulations, WDM, and well done! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send off your prize via the magical tubes of the Interwebs.
Let me begin with an important note to those whose entries were not selected for this week’s Caption Challenge: Yes, I know your caption was funnier. And yes, it is a conspiracy against you. EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY AGAINST YOU!
In other news, it’s time to vote. Five finalists await your review and judgment below. The winner, based on your votes as of 2 p.m. ET, will receive an Amazon.ca gift certificate courtesy of Feschuk.Reid, which next month will celebrate its fourth anniversary – an achievement that would not have been possible without the support of the fine people of Canada, who voted us out of our old jobs in the first place. Feschuk.Reid: The Ultimate Driving Machine.
– “Peter Van Loan introduces the newest Tory Senator, Jimmy, who has promised to resign on his 9th birthday, and to do whatever the nice man in the sweater asks of him.” – Lord Kitchener’s Own
– “To my high school year book editors, who said I was most likely to never get laid – I present, exhibit A.” – WDM
– It was a good day on the stump for Van Loan, until he mistakenly began kissing hands and shaking babies. – SeanStok
– Who doesn’t love ‘bring your kid to demotion’ day? – Caption Critter
– “One day, Simba, this will all be yours…” – Meg