Caption Challenge Vol. 2, No. 5: Vote Now

UPDATE @ 2 p.m. ET: In a photo finish, Not Stephen Colbert edges out Shakois by a handful of votes to become the Caption Challenge’s first two-time winner. Congratulations, NSC. Prizery coming your way. And thanks to all for playing, reading and voting.

Some fine work, captioneers. I’ve expanded the list of finalists to six and, still, several high-quality entries have been left on the cutting room floor, along with Kevin Costner’s scenes from The Big Chill and, in my dreams, Vince Vaughn’s scenes from pretty much every movie since Swingers.

The winner, as declared by a jury of y’all all y’all, will receive an Amazon.ca gift certificate courtesy of Feschuk.Reid, a speechwriting and communications firm that works with blue-chip corporations, leading political figures and motivated domestic pets with an agenda. Feschuk.Reid: Look Ma, no cavities! (Voting closes at 2 p.m. ET.)

A note: People, let us not get too sensitive about the pluses and the minuses and so forth.  If someone “minuses” your caption entry, it doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t like you. This isn’t high school. (I know it’s not high school because I didn’t spent three hours yesterday skipping class to play euchre.) The minuser is merely indicating that he or she does not care for your entry, does not deem it “gift-certificate worthy,” and there’s nothing wrong with that. Take it from one who knows: Criticism builds character. And resolve. And also rage. Bubbling, bubbling rage that will one day be unleashed upon some unsuspecting soul who has the misfortune to say the wrong thing at the wrong time (sorry, Grandma, but those Toughskins were not floods).

The finalists:

  • Bob swore that this would be the last time Michael Ignatieff would ruin his birthday party. – Not Stephen Colbert
  • Sometimes it’s lonely being the only Al Apps in the bar. – Jack Mitchell
  • “I don’t care if he won’t talk to me anymore. I still maintain that his distinction between civic and ethnic nationalism is artificial and absurd.” – Chris B.
  • “That liar Feschuk told me this was happy hour.” – A_logician
  • “Worst karaoke night. Ever.” – Sean
  • Shmoozing: Upper Level. Policy development: Lower Level. – Shakois

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