Coyne. Wells. The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out (With Logic!)

If you’re a fan of democracy or yellow, you’ve probably noticed the advertisements at Macleans.ca alerting you to next week’s Coyne v. Wells live event, which is being touted alternately as a “political showdown” and a “political roadshow.” (We use both terms to describe it because we forget which one implies more hair-pulling.)

Why is Coyne versusing Wells? Because OUR DEMOCRACY IS BROKEN and someone needs to muse about talking about pondering the topic of speculating what to do about thinking about fixing it. I mean, come on: Our national beard isn’t going to thoughtfully stroke itself.

I know what you’re thinking: Return our BROKEN DEMOCRACY to the manufacturer. Get STORE CREDIT. Come home with a nice new despotism, a fledgling kleptocracy or maybe a vintage grand duchy. But it’s not that easy because John A. was too soused to get the extended warranty. (Governance humour – not that funny to the average person but I swear Ned Franks just wet himself.)

The event’s details and catchy subtitle can be found here. The savvy among you will surely notice that the session is scheduled to be broadcast live on CPAC – but if you’re in Toronto, I encourage you to attend in person. In fact, I encourage you to attend in person even if you’re not in Toronto – the extravagance of my tailgating setup alone will be worth the drive. Plus, “in person” is the only way to truly appreciate the intensity of the suit-wearing and the ruminatin’.

Other panelists scheduled to appear at Coyne v. Wells include Ed Broadbent, John Ralston Saul, Eddie Goldenberg, Tasha Kheiriddin, The Professor and Mary-Anne.

Meanwhile, if you read widely or are my Dad, you’re probably aware that there’s another, less ruggedly handsome Feschuk out there who types for a living. With Mike Grange of The Globe, my brother Dave – a sports columnist at the Toronto Star – has just published Leafs AbomiNation, a spectacularly enjoyable chronicle of 40-plus years of hockey-based misery inflicted on the fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’s just like The Odyssey but with Harold Ballard as the Cyclops, Nik Antropov’s contract as Scylla and then everyone is lured to their deaths by the intoxicating siren call of Joe Bowen.

Dave’s book hit No. 2 last week on the Globe’s list of Canadian bestsellers, making it a superior commercial success to my book, which peaked at No. 4 on the list of books my Grandma thought about maybe buying but, then again, no.

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