1. It probably doesn’t help Helena Guergis’s case that whenever I hear her voice I think of the little Poltergeist lady. Now clear your minds. It knows what scares you. IT HAS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!!
(This isn’t a joke. I am deeply unnerved by her Soft Voice. At points during last night’s interview, it was as though she was trying to tuck Peter Mansbridge into bed. “I guess I could be naïve, Peter. Yeah. <softer> Yeah. <softer> And then the baby unicorn and the fairy princess were bestest friends for all time. The end.”)
1.5 When Guergis made reference to watching her career implode on “the news hour at 11 o’clock,” I admired Peter Mansbridge’s restraint in not tearing off his microphone and hollering, “Why don’t you go cry to your best friend Lloyd Robertson then?”
2. Allowing Mansbridge to view the videotape of her alleged meltdown at the Charlottetown airport was smart – no boot throwing? WHAAA?? –because it allowed her to begin the interview with a demonstration of credibility. Two obvious questions: Why didn’t she do this sooner? And more important, can we all go to CATSA head office and watch videotapes of ourselves going through airport security? Because I’m pretty sure that tape of one of the screeners at Toronto island airport “accidentally” knocking me in the nuts with his handheld wand would be a hoot.
3. The credibility that Guergis built up eroded when she talked about her husband, Rahim Jaffer. She came off here as overly coached, relying on wounded sentences that (I’d wager) were crafted for her by an advisor. “I have no reason to believe my husband would lie to me, my husband would not want to hurt me or harm me in any way.”
Little of what she said about Jaffer was convincing. In one breath, she stated that she knew with absolute certainty that Jaffer never used her office or resources to exploit his Conservative connections to try and score government grants and financing. In the next, she said she has little clue what her husband’s job actually entails. “I know he works in green technologies. I know he knows a lot of people.” I know he’s a biped. I have a strong hunch he owns several pairs of pants.
And then this: According to Guergis, Jaffer has “no idea” how the cocaine ended up in his pocket on the night he was arrested. Permit me to help you with that one, Helena: He put it there. Did I just blow your mind?
4. Guergis was pretty adamant that she’s never done cocaine or any other drug. Ever. Don’t we have to believe her? I think we do unless someone comes forward with something other than rumour and hearsay. Like maybe an HD video of her with coke and strippers – but you know, classy-like.
5. The part where she cried made me uncomfortable. I briefly switched the channel to CSI: Miami. A murdered soccer Mom? I guess the killer got a <removes sunglasses> real kick out of this.