It’s Musty and There are Posters of Charlie’s Angels and Ayn Rand in Here - Macleans.ca

It’s Musty and There are Posters of Charlie’s Angels and Ayn Rand in Here

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I’ve been tweeting as the Voice in Stephen Harper’s Head for a couple weeks now. I think it’s going okay. One weird side effect is that I find the voice in my own head now sometimes sounds like the voice of the actual Stephen Harper, which can be quite disconcerting when I’m watching TV and the voice in my head says, “Oh, man, that there lady doctor on House is hot.”

Anyhoo, here are some recent excerpts from the Twitter. Come join in if you’d like.

  • Christmas coming soon. Hope MacKay isn’t my secret Santa again. I’ve still got that bottle of Brut 33 from last year.
  • Sending kids off to school – firm handshake or notarized memo of farewell? Can never decide.
  • When life hands me lemons, I order someone to make me lemonade. Then I hand it back, grunting, “I asked for iced tea, dammit!”
  • Just remembered: no Question Period today. Yet I’ve got loads of insults and barbs ready. Thank God I’m surrounded by staff members.
  • Brainwave: don’t FIGHT climate change – prepare Canada for life AFTER global warming as world’s leading undersea kingdom! Your move, Suzuki.
  • “Wheels up!” LOVE that term. Makes me feel like a character on The West Wing but without all the Latin and human empathy.
  • The dance show was fun. Plus I’ve sewn up support of all Indo-Canadians who choose whom to vote for using “least amount of rhythm” criterion
  • “The South Asian tiger has awoken and the world is standing in awe.” With writing that bad, I might be mistaken for the new Dan Brown novel.
  • Note to self: When I get home, make an appointment to take my mouth in for its 100-smile maintenance. Has it been 5 years already?
  • Sometimes I’ll wake up early, stare into the night sky, marvel and wonder to myself, “Why isn’t someone making me my goddamn breakfast?”
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