take exit 37 off highway to hell – we’re right next to the denny’s

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that AC/DC’s next CD, to be released this fall, will be sold exclusively at Wal-Mart stores.

AC/DC is clearly hoping to match the success of The Eagles – a band whose latest record moved almost 3 million copies at Wal-Mart – and Journey, which also somehow secured an exclusive deal with the retailer, possibly last year when company executives, high on paint fumes from Chinese toys, briefly believed it to be 1986.

AC/DC’s decision to resort to an alliance with Wal-Mart is just the latest example of hard times in the record industry. The sense of panic and confusion is so extreme that Kid Rock somehow made and released a new album without anyone at the record company noticing and stopping him. Meanwhile, hip-hop stars now rap obsessively about their consumption of reasonably priced domestic wine coolers.

Most analysts agree these exclusive deals with retailers are the wave of the future. But they note that as the power of Wal-Mart grows, even established music acts will be forced to do bow to ever more extreme demands. How extreme? Here is a preliminary track listing for AC/DC’s new album with Wal-Mart:

You Shook Me Until 9 p.m., at Which Time the Store Closed for the Day

Let There be Rock Tumblers at the Everyday Low Price of $29.99

It’s a Long Way to the Target (So You Might As Well Shop Here)

Hells Bells Would Not Have Woken You If You’d Filled Your Sleeping Pill Prescription at the Economical Wal-Mart Pharmacy

Dirty Deeds Done Slightly Cheaper Than at JC Penney

Who Made Who in a Chinese Sweatshop

You Know That Little Yellow Smiley Face Guy From the Wal-Mart Commercials? He’s Now Our Bass Player

Back in Black Pantyhose with Girdle

For Those About to Rock (We Encourage You to Check Out the Wide Selection of Bic Lighters)

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