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Merry Christmas from the Commons


 

As a little present, here’s the leaked script to the first ad the Conservatives will begin running against Michael Ignatieff in the new year.

***

(Cue ominous music)

Voice over: Last November, our government released the economic and fiscal statement, otherwise known as the fall update. It was awesome.

But Michael Ignatieff insists on referring to it as the “autumn statement.”

Autumn?

Maybe that’s what they call it at Harvard. But here in Canada we Real Canadians know that the season between summer and winter is called fall. Because that’s what leaves do. And then we rake them into piles. And set them on fire.

They probably don’t do that at Harvard either. Probably think it’s “unsafe.” Or “not good for the environment.”

Whatever.

Michael Ignatieff. Talks like a nerd. Not in touch with Real Canadians.


 

Merry Christmas from the Commons

  1. Better yet would be no ad no comment no anything at all … just silence … as that is the worst thing a poltician can get as if the event had little or no meaning at all which essentially is an appropriate description.

  2. Is this a satire? I was expecting one but, frankly, this feels real

  3. No, it was typically prescient of the Conservatives to call it a “fall” update. ’cause that’s what would have happened to the government… but for the old master strategist’s prescient plan to prorogue, because the opposition was plotting way in advance. See… It was all in the plan. Because Stephen Harper wants a powerful Liberal Party again because their was no one worthy to fight.

    We’re in good hands.

  4. The rise and the fall of the fiscal update?

  5. It’s more likely what they call it at Cambridge or Oxford.

  6. “Not in touch with Real Canadians.”
    That’s the nerve, that is especially effective, because there is truth there.
    Remember “not a leader”, effective because it was true.

  7. Define “real Canadian.”

  8. That’s easy. Real Canadians = Harper Conservatives.

  9. Can we get some leaked Liberal ads to please please please!!

  10. The advertisement would be much more effective if it simply featured excerpts from Michael Ignatieff’s public statements during the last few years. By the way, a “real Canadian” is someone who calls Canada “home,” not simply an address. That eliminates most of the population of Toronto and Montreal. – ghambleton@sasktel.net

    • By the way, a “real Canadian” is someone who calls Canada “home,” not simply an address. That eliminates most of the population of Toronto and Montreal.

      Is that a legal definition or just your hate-drenched opinion?

      • Thirty percent of men in their twenties who immigrate to Canada leave within 5 years, Ti. Asking these guys to vote Tory is like Avis asking its customers to fill up with premium high octane: not gonna happen, they aren’t invested enough. Olivia Chow opposes temporary work permits because, quote, “they don’t establish roots in the community”. Well, is it not fair to say this is the case for at least 30% of immigrants, given the data? Presumably many more go home after 5 years, and with the economic slowdown it is logical to deduce even more will go home; they ain’t here for the weather, kids.

        They can vote Liberal for years and when the bill comes due they can go home. In the immigrant community it is very mainstream to acknowledge that many immigrants return home when they reach retirement (wouldn’t you, given the weather?).

        Liberals have a monopoly on hate. You have to *really* hate Canada to advocate transferring thirty billion dollars from working families to failing corporations. Anecdotally, the most racist Canadians I know are white baby boomer Liberals and of course French Canadians.

        Here’s an idea: reply to this comment with a Toronto Liberal-style nasty comment featuring zero data and many accusations of racism. C’mon, it will be fun!

        • “They can vote Liberal for years and when the bill comes due they can go home.”

          You say that like it’s NOT the Conservatives who have, once again, started running a tab for us. In his stints a Finance Minister in Queen Park and in Ottawa, he has proved that he can destroy a government’s fiscal position in good times or bad. Well, at least he’s consistent. Markets like predictability, right?

          • Flaherty posted a $7 billion surplus in his first year, $13 billion in the next year, and will probably be a small surplus in this his third fiscal year. Even if he does run a $5 billion dollar deficit in 2008-09 he will have an accumulated surplus of $15 billion after 3 years, an outstanding record. He then tried to cut spending a teeny bit and look what happened (coalition).

            If spending goes up all of the blame is on the NDP-Lib-Bloc and especially the media for forcing Harper to do it and in any case it would be a fraction of what Layton and Duceppe would be spending had the coalition succeeded.

            “he has proved that he can destroy a government’s fiscal position in good times or bad”

            Well, if you completely make up your own reality in which $20 billion in surplus is “destroy(ing)” the government’s fiscal position then your narrative makes sense. Flaherty must be one incredibly awesome FM for you to have to make up stuff about him. Why do you hate $20 surpluses?

          • “Well, if you completely make up your own reality in which $20 billion in surplus is ‘destroy(ing)’ the government’s fiscal position then your narrative makes sense.”

            Funny how Mr. Flaharty’s own reality has so suddenly shifted from a hundred-million dollar surplus this year to a multi-billion dollar deficit…BEFORE any additional stimulus spending begins. And that change apparently happened only when Mr. Brison and Mr. McCallum demanded an honest accounting of the government’s rosy projections. I see your reality hasn’t quite managed to keep pace, though.

            “Why do you hate $20 surpluses?”

            Yes, it appears Flaharty was budgeting for a twenty dollar surplus when the economy was going gangbusters. Now that it’s slowing down, oops, surprise! Giant deficits!

            A more conservative (ahem, note the small “c”) approach would have anticipated that the good times would end, and would have left some contingency for that.

            I’ll boldly predict that, if this Conservative government lasts through the end of fiscal ’09, that $25 billion accumulated surplus will be gone. When they do leave us, it will be in worse shape than when they first took office.

        • Anecdotally, the most racist Canadians I know are white baby boomer Liberals and of course French Canadians.

          Well, that’s compelling.

          You’re quite stupid, I hope you realise.

          • Duh rienne, as the cou rouge Amherstview would say.

        • being a french canadian… i never knew that i was of the most racist people in the country, thanks for letting me know!

    • Ahem… a real Canadian is someone who can make love in a canoe – Farley Mowat

      • Wasn’t that Pierre Berton?

        • You may be right. Farley would have said: ‘ a real Canadian, is someone who can f***k in a canoe.’

  11. Oh great, Ignatieff attack day. Wonderful, mature and so Christmasy and all.

    My God, a man actually has an education – damn. So, for those who have a problem with education, why do so-called Conservative partisans work so hard to get their kids educated? Oh do they?

  12. Although this is satire the Conservatives should consider it. It will resonate with real Canadians who live in places like Airdrie Alberta.

    One bit of advice, not enough of Harper wrapping himself in the Canadian Flag. Perhaps a shot of Harper lighting the leaves (built into an effigy of Harvard’s campus) on fire with several Canadian Flags flapping in the background. Harper should wear a sweater vest.

  13. Perhaps it would be better to let Ignatieff selfdestruct. He is well on his way to do so.

  14. Conservatives are deeply, profoundly unserious. How on Earth did we end up with Conservatives like that?

  15. Is Harper really scared of Ignatieff? For the second time, the Conservatives have threatened to pull federal funding if groups allowed Ignatieff to attend their events. First it was a library (May 2008) and now a Jewish school. Possibly this happens more often but works — that is, the groups are intimidated enough not to invite Ignatieff and the story doesn’t make it into the press.

    Dan Cook has an image to go along with this latest Conservatives bashing Hanukah story.

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081225.WBwblogolitics20081225083524/WBStory/WBwblogolitics/

    • Maclean’s mods: you are on extremely thin ice allowing comments which suggest the Conservatives are “bashing” – a word which connotes physical violence – the Jewish community.

      Govern yourselves accordingly.

      • Is that you Georganne?

      • Litigious Conservative, you are right. I should have added “event” after Hanukah. The attack is on this event which the organizer is saying the Conservative aide did everything possible to stop. Harper attended a similar event without incident. CTV is reporting that it is just this particular Hanukah event with a Liberal in attendance that apparently had the Conservatives threatening “serious damage” and loss of funding if the event was not cancelled.

  16. Iggy knows (having been educated in a world class British University) that Liz II (Michaelle Jean’s boss) refers to the season as Autumn…and maybe he knows the Michaelle isn’t going to be quite as sweet with Harper the next time he goes to bully her…

  17. Hey Time for the smokers to stand up and be counted. There are a lot of us out there not willing to admit it. For if you were got by an non- smoker , you will be bullied into OK people time to say it …;JUST DROP US OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH……If we soon do not speak up its the only place left for us to go. Lets Review: So far we cannot smoke in the Bus -no one said anything . Bus Shelter-no one says anything. Then we can not Bars,pubs,clubs. yep you got it no one says anything!!!!!!!! Then it was Food Establishments-Still nobody says anything. Then you cannot smoke on DECKS AND PATIOS Yeppers still nothing…..Again our own cars …..Where no one sitting except me listening to my radio….lol Then cannot smoke OUTDOORS…….NOTHING……HOPE BY NOW YOU CAN FOLLOW WHERE IT ‘s GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Now for the sake of human decency please eeeeeeeeeeeeee no can’t be nononono
    II DO NOT BELIEVE IT I CANNOT GET AN APT, MY PICKET FENCE DOUBLE GARAGE SPLIT LEVEL HOME . YOU GOT IT IT COMES DOWN THESE DAYS TO SOON . ITS HAPPENING NOW MY SMELLY GREEN BUTT TONGUE BUDDIES NOW SMOKKERS FREE HOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A FEW BLLIES CAN ACTUAL DO TO US POOR DEFORMED STINKS OH YES AND YELLOW TEETH JUST DOWN RIGHT NASTY PEOPLE END UP….WHERE IS OUR JUSTICE. bet THESE SO DICATED TO THE CAUSE PEOPLE DRIVE THEIR BIG 4X4 TRUCKS SKIDOOS ATVS FACTORY OWERS CIGAR SMOKING FRESHING SMELLING WHITE TEETH SUCKING BIG LEATHER WALET CORPORATE INHUMANE BEINGS IT IS TIME TO SPEAK UP….FOR OUR RIGHTS AS PEOPLE, SAKE OF WHATS HUMAN SOIETY MY FRIENDS OR I FEAR NEXT STOP JUST DROP US OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTHHey Time for the smokers to stand up and be counted. There are a lot of us out there not willing to admit it. For if you were got by an non- smoker , you will be bullied into OK people time to say it …;JUST DROP US OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH……If we soon do not speak up its the only place left for us to go. Lets Review: So far we cannot smoke in the Bus -no one said anything . Bus Shelter-no one says anything. Then we can not Bars,pubs,clubs. yep you got it no one says anything!!!!!!!! Then it was Food Establishments-Still nobody says anything. Then you cannot smoke on DECKS AND PATIOS Yeppers still nothing…..Again our own cars …..Where no one sitting except me listening to my radio….lol Then cannot smoke OUTDOORS…….NOTHING……HOPE BY NOW YOU CAN FOLLOW WHERE IT ‘s GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Now for the sake of human decency please eeeeeeeeeeeeee no can’t be nononono
    II DO NOT BELIEVE IT I CANNOT GET AN APT, MY PICKET FENCE DOUBLE GARAGE SPLIT LEVEL HOME . YOU GOT IT IT COMES DOWN THESE DAYS TO SOON . ITS HAPPENING NOW MY SMELLY GREEN BUTT TONGUE BUDDIES NOW SMOKKERS FREE HOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A FEW BLLIES CAN ACTUAL DO TO US POOR DEFORMED STINKS OH YES AND YELLOW TEETH JUST DOWN RIGHT NASTY PEOPLE END UP….WHERE IS OUR JUSTICE. bet THESE SO DICATED TO THE CAUSE PEOPLE DRIVE THEIR BIG 4X4 TRUCKS SKIDOOS ATVS FACTORY OWERS CIGAR SMOKING FRESHING SMELLING WHITE TEETH SUCKING BIG LEATHER WALET CORPORATE INHUMANE BEINGS IT IS TIME TO SPEAK UP….FOR OUR RIGHTS AS PEOPLE, SAKE OF WHATS HUMAN SOIETY MY FRIENDS OR I FEAR NEXT STOP JUST DROP US OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH

  18. Harper is much worse. With all the money he has wasted on Adds, One step forward, two steps backward Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper has found himself only closer to the ext door.. he should use the money to get a resume for a job he is more suited for.. such as a used car salesman

  19. I think the difficulty here is that there may be another ‘fall statement’ in the Winter a.k.a. January. That is, whatever Harper says that turns the switch on his government’s fall will be the ultimate ‘Fall Statement’. I appreciate the forward thinking judicious use of language by Iggy. He is leading by example there! :). Doesn’t this Wherry Writer go on about the Hansard from time to time? Well Iggy is the new Editor of the Hansard. Henceforward ‘Autumn’ it is! After all, doesn’t saying “Fall Statement” sound the same as saying “False Statement”? I think Iggy never wants his government to be the authors of a False Statement.

  20. Iggy is publicizing his good works at the Daily Bread Food Bank this Xmas. He even collected food donations at his private home Xmas party! Gee I hope I see some of that coming my way next Tuesday when I pick up Xmas spoils at my local food bank. I have trashed Iggy on this score, using the blogger/comment method, cause his party hasn’t prepared any policy to deal with skyrocketing food prices and the enormous garbage crisis related to food packaging and marketing. If Iggy contacts me personally to note my good work to educate him then I will know he’s the man. Otherwise he’s a loser.

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