Top 10 great things about the proposed new U.S. health care act

As Congress debates a new law, let’s look on the bright side of Obamacare’s demise


 

Here are the top 10 great things about the Republicans’ proposed replacement for Obamacare:

  1. Freedom-loving Americans finally unchained from the tyrannical shackles of not having to suffer painfully.
  1. You remain 100 per cent covered if your pre-existing condition is death.
  1. “Cancer” will henceforth be spelled as “kancer,” because laughter is the best medicine.
  1. Weird fine print: All medical pamphlets must now be illustrated with photos of Paul Ryan’s body.
  1. Reducing financial assistance to people with low incomes is only a problem if you’re a person with a low income. Think about it.
  1. More than 100 chronic conditions now classified under the category “Walk It Off.”
  1. Effective immediately, most medical procedures can be paid for in cash, tax credits or organs.
  1. Health care CEOs will get richer, which is what working-class Americans wanted when they voted for Trump, isn’t it?
  1. Stop your bellyaching: You’ve got two kidneys, two lungs and two hearts for a reason.
  1. Mathematically speaking, a shorter life span confers more relative meaning on each living day.

 


 

Top 10 great things about the proposed new U.S. health care act

  1. Feschuk used to be funny.

    • So did you. Now you’re just boring.

    • You are right Jerome, it isn’t funny….it’s pathetic but then you love Trump and the truth hurts and Feschuk delivers the truth….what he does is called satire…it is the dark truth, it is so sad it is funny….if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. What’s the matter, does it bother you that poor Americans with pre-existing conditions won’t have healthcare? Don’t develop on a conscience on us now when Paul Ryan is about to deliver bit tax cuts to the top one percent. How did you think that Mexican wall was going to get built?

      • Gage,
        You and Emily are sounding more like extreme lefties all the time. Neither of you can accept any opinion other than your own without getting vile. And if you read all of Feschuk’s drivel, he is right there with you and Emily.
        By the way, I don’t love Trump, I just detested Hillary because she is corrupt and married to one of the worst philanderers of all times.

        • Hahaha…..that is funny. Bill Clinton is a philanderer all right. His biggest competition in the all time category is Donald “grab them by the pu%%y” Trump. As for the lefties comment, compared to you, I must be one although I am a born and bred Albertan and have always voted Conservative, Reform and Wild Rose. I never did believe in those Evangelical religious fanatics though so I guess I am not far enough right for you. I wouldn’t be attending a tea party. Blatant bigotry doesn’t sit well with me and as a civil servant if I were to display it on the job, I would be fired. I am not a big fan of Hiliary myself but I find it really humerous when someone with so much confirmation bias as yourself says I am not open to other opinions. That is actually a hoot. Do you even listen to yourself? You are defending a man who is now claiming the previous president put a wire “tapp” on him when he should know that presidents can’t order wire taps only the Justice dept. can and it takes a warrant from a judge. I actually applied for a job with a police department listening to wire taps. They explained how the whole system works. They had to have evidence to get a warrant to get the tap or the information would not be admissible. Hence the necessity for the judge to okay the tap. It is like police going into search a house without a warrant. Now we have Wikileaks and Edward Snowden telling us our cell phones and tvs are spying on us for the CIA and guess who he is a guest of …..Vlad Putin. Boy, that makes everyone feel better that Vlad has access to the technology thanks to Edward who found it so disgusting that his own country was spying that he had to run to Russia and seek out Putin as a protector. Not many people think of Putin in those terms, especially not those who have drank polonium laced soup or tea or those who live in the Ukraine. Luckily though the POTUS claims against Obama will launch an even further investigation into all kinds of things such as contact with Russia that were denied by the POTUS team and then turned out to be mistruths. It should be fascinating. Meanwhile Hawaii has launched the first challenge to the new bill banning travel of citizens from certain countries into the US. That pesky American constitution just keeps interfering in poor Donald’s plans. Those founding fathers, whatever were they thinking? Further, the fake news will be following it all as is their mandate and the more Trump rails against them, the more newspaper they sell. It really is a symbiotic relationship. He provides alternative facts, they point them out, he freaks out and they print out all the information they have from sources who surround him everyday and can’t wait to tell his every secret. The public meanwhile laps up. Trumps freaks about the leaks, calls the press the enemy and denies of any of it is true. One couldn’t write fiction that was more entertaining. Meanwhile, Jerome call me a leftie if it makes you feel better. Next to Dick Cheney, I am definitely left leaning.

          • Just a couple of comments to correct your misinformation:
            -Trump talks dirty, Willy did dirty.
            -I don’t support the views of Evangelicals either-where did that vile notion come from?
            -Julian Assange, the founder of Wikileaks, who released the CIA spying reality is not in Russia, he’s in the Ecuadorian Embassy. As with the Clinton emails, everyone show be much more concerned about what they say rather than where they came from.
            -Re the wire tap, a spokesperson cautioned CNN that they shouldn’t say there was no wire tapping of Trump, but rather that it wasn’t requested by Obama. And if you believe Obama didn’t receive any feedback on what was heard, you’re in La La Land.
            -Trump said of the left media “their agenda is not your agenda”. Truer word were never spoken. So he does not view them as friends of the people but rather their enemy. Seems quite logical.
            -I have talked to several Muslim friends and showed them what you wrote about Sharia Law. NOT ONE OF THEM shares your views. And when I showed them that you said that the Muslim religion just says that “women are different” the women said it sure does. They said they came to Canada so that they could get an education and be treated as equals.

  2. “Mathematically speaking, a shorter life span confers more relative meaning on each living day.”

    Hence the benefit of following the advice to live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse. :-)

    • Actually Jim, that is what the makers of cigarettes said. They said smokers cost the healthcare system less because they died younger.