How to pick up women, naturally -

How to pick up women, naturally

Richard La Ruina suggests to remember to clean your nails, and to model the behaviour of alpha males

How to pick up women, naturally

James M. Daniel; iStock; Getty Images; Photo Illustration by Taylor Shute

How to meet women was the question plaguing Richard La Ruina, a young man raised without his father in London, England, who all through high school had never held hands with a girl, much less kissed one.

La Ruina saw himself as deathly insecure, ugly and an outsider, until one day in his twenties, “out of sheer desperation,” he set out to improve himself with the view to finding a girlfriend. His first book, The Natural Art of Seduction, sold 30,000 copies in the U.K. and launched his career as, in his own words, Europe’s top pick-up artist. His new book, The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want, offers advice for single men and is the result of La Ruina’s personal research, “night after night, day after day—working endlessly to figure out what works, and what doesn’t.”

Step one was to write down his problems and address each issue. For his shyness, he taught English as a foreign language in Spain. “It forced me, as I hoped it would, to be the centre of attention and stand up in front of a class of people for an hour at a time.” He advises other shy men to do the same, or to take a public-speaking course.

Step two, fix your look. Out with the baggy jeans and dirty running shoes, and in with stylish loafers, a sports jacket and a good haircut. “I bought at discount outlets,” he writes. Another tip: “Go to an expensive salon for a free consultation, find out what would be the best cut for your face shape, and then get the actual cut done in a cheaper place.” Clean your fingernails and remember brown shoes go best with blue jeans.

You must also model the behaviour of alpha males. “Women want a man who is confident, powerful, socially savvy and high in status,” writes La Ruina. “What I’m talking about right now is not pretending to be someone you aren’t in order to ‘trick’ women. Instead, this is about using an understanding of human behaviour, psychology and biology to consciously change the ways you act.”

For instance, La Ruina observed that alpha males are decision-makers who lead the pack. Start small, he urges. Practise on your male friends. “When your friends start grumbling about being hungry, make a decision. Say, ‘Let’s go here!’ with total certainty. Don’t ask if this is okay with everyone. Assume it is.”

With women, remember to maintain your status. “Don’t ask her a lot of questions when you’re facing a decision together.” And don’t seek approval. “Don’t say, ‘Is this okay?’ or ‘How’s my jacket look?’ ”

Step three: desensitization. There is no easy way to get over the fear of the approach, he writes. “However, I can tell you the most painless way possible: in my experience, 30 approaches will be enough to free you of crippling approach anxiety.”

Here’s what to do: start asking random women for the time. “Don’t try to pick them up. Just say, ‘Do you have the time?’ Then say, ‘Thank you’ and leave.” Next, try it on beautiful women. A male fashion photographer isn’t sweating when he talks to models because he’s used to talking to them. To get comfortable, “go to places with a high concentration of very beautiful women, like exclusive department stores, or countries such as Latvia, a small nation in Europe with amazing women everywhere.”

Step four: go to a bar or a Starbucks and try to make eye contact with a woman. Don’t stare at her or look nervously away. “Provoke a response from her by pointing at her, waving, raising your glass, making a funny face or poking your tongue out,” he writes. A male buddy likes to do a childish peekaboo. “It sounds stupid,” admits La Ruina, “but the results speak for themselves. If you get a positive reaction, you can immediately approach without thinking of anything clever to say.”

When you do approach, simply say, “Hey!” then pause for a moment. La Ruina’s book provides a list of openers to get the conversation going. Humour is important. To a group of girls, La Ruina suggests saying, “Are you girls making mischief over here?” “This one is funny,” he writes. “Suspicion mixed with playfulness works well.”


How to pick up women, naturally

  1. Great. The last thing we need more of is D-bags

    • You’ve just assumed he is a D-bag by reading a short article… How can you possibly come to a conclusion like that? lol

    • I’ve had the chance of actually meeting him. I can tell you he has a deep love for women and genuinely wants men to be able to understand women so they can treat women the proper way and not like another hole to fill, but unfortunately there has been a negative image created by the media of PUA’s as being douchbags or slimeballs, when in reality a lot of them care deeply for women.

      I am not saying that some of the guys that read the material use it to more “tail” but most guys that I have met are looking for that one girl who they can spend the rest of their days with. This material helps them show off their best side and learn that they should not be walked over by everyone else in the world.

      Then again, seeing as how you jump straight to the negative CL, I figure you’ve probably believe that if you are just nice to girl and cater to her every fancy you’ll end up with the girl. How is that working out for you? 

      • My husband is exceptionally nice to me and would never just walk all over me or his friends alpha-male style (as per the way he describes in the article).  I like the fact that he cares how I feel and is considerate of others.

        So speaking as A GIRL, he sounds like a complete D-bag.  

        Oh, and ‘“Are you girls making mischief over here?” ‘…. really???? 

  2. Or he could drop the act, and behave normally instead of pretending all the time, and treat women like human beings.

    •  This is entirely about dropping the act and behaving normally. The whole philosophy behind this is desensitizing yourself to talking to women and being the center of attention specifically so you CAN act normally.

      • Well, if he regarded women as just other human beings he would act normally.

        • But that’s just it: he’s treating them like human beings he wants to get into the pants of!

          • So what? What, you never want sex? As if.

  3. Go to a bar and read a book in a corner. The guys will think your gay and the women just have to find out if you are. They will come to you. Remember, women find the sexiest guys are the ones that make them laugh and can talk to – the most important thing in a relationship. And if they guy can read confidently in a place where he is supposed to be picking them up – oh my. An intelligent funny guy is more important than money and looks – although it doesn’t hurt to look like a movie star either.

    •  I like this comment that PHIL made. I agree that an intelligent and unassuming  either high powered  or the normal guy next door can attract women…money and looks counts depending on what a woman is looking for. Feelings and communication are the basics, I think, to a good healthy relation.

  4. what about bangin’ em?  Should I tap her butt on the first date?

  5. what do you do when you scared of women ?

    • Like I said….remember that they aren’t aliens, they’re human beings just like you….with their own fears and hopes, frailties and dreams. You’ll meet some you like, and some you don’t…and all you have to do is interact naturally with them, the same way you would with anyone else.

  6. La Ruina means ruined in English. We can see from this La Ruina dumb that he is really wrecked.
    Selling such stupids advice and people are paying for this ? Even more ruined.

  7. You may wish to pick up women, but this androgynous turd, no thanks, won’t pick it up. Am talking about the advice, of course.  Grew up without a dad? It figures. 

  8. My grandfather said at least 2 of 3 of these were essential to picking up women if you don’t look like Brad Pitt.

    1) Humour – make women laugh.

    2) Good pair of shoes – women have inordinate interest in shoes and they notice if guys are wearing a good pair.

    3) Learn how to dance – dancing is vertical expression of your horizontal intentions. 

  9. The best way to learn to pick up women naturally is to read the book and website by Michael Marks called “Get A Great Girl”.  Michael is the original “natural” who never taught any of the pick up artist gimmicks.

  10. And if a guy is looking for one woman to spend the rest of his life with, then definitely they should go to because that is the whole purpose of that site, as opposed to the PUA mentality that preaches relationships are for “wussies”.

  11. The problem for men is that the advice they get
    is ‘act normally/ be confident/ be funny’
    it is impossible ! How do u act normally? Be
    confident or funny? We all hve times when
    we do these things but how do you when
    you feel nervous and are aware you could
    get a bad reaction? Have you ever tried
    ‘being funny’ !!!! Thats where Richards
    skills come in- he tells men HOW to accomplish
    these things……….

    • Exactly, and Michael Marks at is the ORIGINAL instructor and author on the topic of HOW to accomplish these things. He was around long before the book “The Game” came out, and he was teaching the “HOW-TO” attract a quality woman in the most professional way.  Michael uses no gimmicks, no ridiculous immature stuff.  Any man who is serious about getting a quality long-term relationship with a fantastic woman who is beautiful and who will be faithful should definitely take Michael’s programs at .

  12. A lot of attraction is very counterintuitive, which is why Richard’s stuff seems strange but a lot (but not all) of it works. There are a lot of guys out there who teach How to Pick up Women some know what they’re talking about, some dont.