Newspapers in Vancouver and Toronto have complementary postcards today from the alternate dimension that is the RCMP. From the Vancouver Sun comes the tale of a Burnaby, B.C. constable who lost his wallet. A Good Samaritan popped the billfold into a mailbox, whereupon Canada Post sent it over to the Vancouver city police. But oops! The wallet happened to contain a baggie of pot belonging to said constable, whose dismissal has been upheld by a review panel. Meantime, the Toronto Sun has a compelling assemblage of civil payouts the Mounties have issued in recent years over officer misconduct and botched investigations. Of note is a $2.2-million disbursement to settle a Calgary plaintiff’s wrongful conviction and imprisonment for sexual assault: turns out the officer assigned to investigate had an undisclosed sexual relationship with the complainant. All this comes as B.C.’s attorney general suggests the RCMP officers involved in the Dziekanski taser case may yet face criminal charges. Roll over, Sam Steele.