Straight out of Hitchcock

Bloodied pedestrians and official warnings are the telltale sign that Berlin’s crows have launched their annual reign of terror. “It was like a Hitchcock horror film,” a bystander explained to the Berliner Kurier after a bicyclist was injured by an avian aerial assault last week. “They simply pecked away! And their beaks aren’t so small either.”

Hooded crows that nest throughout Germany’s capital will dive bomb anyone perceived to be a threat to their newly mobile chicks, especially when their vulnerable babies are on the ground. “The attacks are more of a terror and shock for people than they are dangerous,” Anja Sorges of the Nature and Biodiversity Conservation Union told Der Spiegel. “Injuries are minimal, but nasty scrapes and blood make the attacks look more dramatic than they really are.” Fortunately the danger lasts just a few weeks each spring.

Unfortunately, the population of the grey-feathered omnivore has increased recently, making it easier for Berliners to unwittingly enter into the free-fire zone. This year’s ground zero seems to be the archives of the Stasi, the former East German secret police. Affixed to a nearby crosswalk was a sign: “Warning: Aggressive Crows.”