Dear Mike Babcock - Macleans.ca

Dear Mike Babcock

Some helpful help for Canada’s hockey coach

by

Coach: I had a late lunch yesterday at a bar on Robson and overheard a few guys analyzing the performance of Canada’s men’s hockey team. I thought you’d appreciate hearing their input since they seemed pretty confident they had it all figured out. That’s why I took notes. I guess what I’m saying is: Give this a read and it’s pretty much “Good night, Germany.”

P.S. The language they used was a little saucy so I took the liberty of replacing the “f-word” with the names of various Osmonds.

Cast of characters: Guy in Detroit Red Wings cap (DRW); guy in Shea Weber Team Canada T-shirt (SW); guy in Just a Foul Mood (JFM).

•••

DRW: Here’s one thing I don’t Donny get. This Merrill business about chemistry.

JFM: Marie right.

DRW: You’re making $40 million Jimmy dollars a year or whatever, you should be able to step on the Merrill ice and say, “Hi, my Alan name is Sidney Donny Crosby, let’s go score some goals together.”

JFM: Marie right.

SW: One of those Jay guys came in here right now, I’d say it to their Alan, Merrill face.

JFM: Marie.

DRW: You’re playing in your own Jimmy backyard. I just don’t Wayne understand.

[Long pause. Some contemplative beer drinking.]

SW: What you gotta Merrill do is go into that Donny dressing room and kick some Alan ass. These guys are so Jay pampered.

JFM: Marie right.

SW: Get in there and tear a Donny strip off ’em!

DRW: Motivate ’em.

JFM: True. Marie true.

[Another pause.]

DRW: Donny Brodeur.