The link between Jack Layton and your bladder

Have you heard of Runpee.com? It’s a website that tells you the ideal, won’t-miss-much juncture at which to slip out of a movie to relieve yourself. It also fills you in on what you’ll have missed up on the screen.

We need one of those for Canadian politics.

Sept. 15, 7:32 a.m. OK, this is the part where Jack Layton notices his poll numbers tanking so he climbs into bed with Stephen Harper, a man that for years he has routinely pilloried, condemned and otherwise not liked very much. Striving to create an aura of principled crisis, Jack hogs the political limelight under the pretense of advancing public policy and societal justice, though pretty much everyone attributes his abrupt aboutface to saving his own political bacon. Jack also talks about kitchen tables. Ultimately, Jack votes with a government to which, barely 24 hours earlier, he was philosophically, intellectually, ideologically, morally and possibly even sartorially opposed. He continues to support the government until he is able to crudely manufacture a moment of betrayal that allows him to theatrically withdraw his backing, preferably while surrounded by autoworkers/the unemployed/kitchen tables.

Feel free to dawdle in the bathroom. Should take a couple weeks.

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